A lot has happened in the three years since James Franco and Harmony Korine first graced theaters with the movie/life philosophy that is Spring Breakers. Perhaps it is because of these many changes, like the face and body transformation of Kylie Jenner and the advent of the Snapchat story, that the film rings even truer today. As we approach the light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel that is March 11th, throw those University Travel Advisory warning emails about the Zika virus in your virtual trash bin and join us as we make preparations for the perfect Spriiiiiiiiing Breaaaaaaaak! Here’s what you need to do in anticipation.
1. Begin to compile music lyrics that will serve as your Instagram captions. Now. Like, right now.
There’s a reason Kanye West, Beyonce, and Rihanna are all releasing new music at the moment. It’s so you’ll have some prime material for Spring Break Instagram captions. Don’t be surprised if, come mid-March, lots of people on your News Feed find themselves on self-declared “ultralight beams.” Similarly, many people “will not have come to play with you hoes, haha.”
2. Save money
Spring break is pricey, so to pay for it we suggest one of the following:
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Grovel at the feet of your superiors. (Read as: beg your parents for a little extra cash).
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Stop buying food. Instead, wait around at the doors of dining halls until you see someone whom you feel comfortable accosting for a meal swipe.
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Sign up to be a guinea pig for those graduate school experiments. We know the Business School ones are tempting, but don’t forget about the Psychology experiments that come with light disclaimers of emotional damage!
3. Consider your aesthetic
Try searching #laceuponepiece, #khloekardashiansrevengebody, or #yeezyseasonthree on Instagram and use those finds to assemble an online inspiration board. Do NOT just attempt to replicate Beyonce’s “Formation” music video looks or her outfits from Coldplay’s “Hymm for the Weekend” music video. A Beyonce look you should be taking inspiration from? Bey at the 2015 Met Gala. Slay.
4. Perfect your squad
If there’s any moral to take from Spring Breakers, it’s that if one chick isn’t down to go along with your plans, then the whole friend group vibe will be thrown out of wack. This is a huge buzz kill. Figure out who the Selena Gomez of your group is and who the ATL Twins of your group are. Then, send Selena to her grandma’s house and book your airbnb.
5. Buy the Nicki Minaj Beats Pill
This tip might be the subliminal messaging talking since the Beats pill is featured in every single music video I’ve ever seen, but nothing is going to sound better during your tanning session or look better in your Instagram than the Nicki Minaj Beats pill. No matter how sad your spring break playlist is–because you obviously won’t buy a subscription to Tidal and refuse to purchase any of Taylor Swift’s music after she stopped free streaming–it will sound good playing from the Beats pill. (No, this Her Campus Barnard article is not sponsored by Dr. Dre.)
If you aren’t going somewhere #exotic, no worries! You can always go to Party City and buy luau decorations, go to a hardware store and buy a UV lamp, go to Palm Beach Tanning and increase your risk of skin cancer, and have your RA take a picture of you in a bathing suit drinking a Cafe East smoothie in front of a projector with your computer’s tropical screensaver on loop. Caption your Instagram “Why y’all actin’ s’picious?” and wait for your “friends” to return with peeling sunburns and outstanding arrest warrants.
**Disclaimer: This article is a personal piece and does not necessarily reflect the views of Her Campus Media.