Content Warning for abortion and light swearing!
I have been thinking an awful lot about romantic comedies and which ones I’ll be watching over spring break. In the midst of mulling over my movie options, I stumbled upon a meme utilizing one of my favorite formats (“the signs as”), and thus, this article was born. With the help of my more astrologically knowledgeable suitemate, I cultivated what I think is a fairly legitimate meme of the signs’ rom-com counterparts. If you think I’m wrong, well, take the advice of this Cancer and cryyyyy about it. But not to me.
Aquarius: La La Land
Aquarians are different, ok?! They’re ~quirky~! La La Land is the natural conclusion here: it is eccentric to the nth degree. This is the movie that brought the aloofness of Ryan Gosling and the edgy friendliness of Emma Stone together in a tap dancing scene. Truly trailblazing, just like the Aquarius in your life. Plus, one of my suitemates is an Aquarius, and she LOVES this movie. I thought it was an unexpected choice for her at first, but hey, those Aquariusies do what they want.
Pisces: To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
I meeeeaaaaan. Honestly, I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain this one. God forbid a Pisces just harbored a mental crush like anyone else, nah, they’re going to use their creativity and sensitivity to write love letters and hide them away from the world. At least, until the letters get out. I’m a Pisces moon, so I 100% relate to this premise.
Aries: What A Girl Wants
Full disclosure: my roommate is the most “Aries” Aries that I know. She can edge towards crazy, but I love her. I can absolutely see an Aries get up to all the impulsive and adventurous shenanigans that Amanda Bynes’ character ends up in. Their confidence knows no bounds. So hey, if you’re an Aries and you think your dad may secretly be a British Lord running for office, hop on that plane and insert yourself all up in that situation.
Taurus: Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist feels like a warm hug. It’s sweet and steady, but sometimes you want to shake the characters out of their good-intentioned yet counterproductive stubbornness to get to the good stuff. Kind of like a Taurus.
Gemini: Clueless
Regardless of whether or not you think they deserve it, Geminis definitely have a bad reputation. They might be seen as superficial, but so was Cher! And beneath all that, there was a versatile and lively young woman trying her gd best. Clueless is a classic, and Geminis are classic, too.
Cancer: When Harry Met Sally
Oof. It was difficult to pick this one out—personal biases abound. I think I’m fairly satisfied with this choice, though. Sally is probably a Virgo (let’s be honest), but there is something so Cancer about the feel of this movie. The particularly loving attention to New York City as the story’s home, the reliance upon Harry and Sally’s respective friends, and the romance that grows out of a long, long friendship. So friggin’ domestic.
Leo: 10 Things I Hate About You
Two of my best friends from home are Leos and will never stop bragging about it. I almost hate to give them something so good, but they’ve got the same badass energy, and who am I to disregard that? The movie is all about learning to appreciate and own who you are, and every Leo I know is unequivocally themselves. Underneath that confident exterior, however, they are mushy af—just like Kat and Patrick!!!
Virgo: 27 Dresses
The constant need to do everything perfectly for other people while on some level resenting that they can never count on someone else in that way? Hello and welcome to the plot of 27 Dresses and the life of almost every Virgo I know. My astrologically knowledgeable friend, herself a Virgo, said, “idk like 27 Dresses is totally a virgo one like Jane is such a virgo.” So there! Virgos are wildly under-appreciated imo, but the lasting popularity of this movie should be particularly affirming to you all!
Libra: A Cinderella Story
Libras are charming, idealistic, and diplomatic. Any retelling of Cinderella is going to hit those notes, but, as my favorite is A Cinderella Story, that’s what I’m going with here. Cinderella, or in this case, Sam works so hard to get what she wants and tries to navigate her fraught familial relationships with grace. Even with such amenable qualities, Libras won’t stay put in a bad situation for long, and they’ll use their inner strength to get tf out of there. Libras are badass, just like Sam in A Cinderella Story.
Scorpio: Obvious Child
When my friend reviewed this choice, she said it “works imo cuz Scorpios dgaf and obvious child is not the typical rom com like Scorpios will call themselves a rom com even if they’re about abortion lmao.” Well said. Scorpios and Obvious Child both toe the line of controversy, but there’s something very compelling and heartfelt in that edginess.
Sagittarius: Leap Year
I’ve heard that Sags “love to travel and shit.” The blind optimism of Amy Adams in Leap Year, in following her boyfriend to Ireland, is a key element of the Sag in your life. Their adventurousness is key to their intellectual development, and that’s why Sags are wise af.
Capricorn: Four Weddings and a Funeral
Capricorns are a series of contradictions: they’re very funny but also frequently reserved. Four Weddings and a Funeral reflects that. It can be so funny, but it’s also heartbreaking. The emotional range exceeds what naysayers might expect of rom-coms, but that is truly what the whole genre encapsulates. Had a hard day? Relax with a cup of tea, Four Weddings and a Funeral, and your friendly neighborhood Capricorn.