I have a few theories on formal. To start, as long as I pay my sorority dues that include one date to formal, I am going to bring someone—in some form or another. If I happen to have a date to invite, then chill, and if not, then guy friends, girl friends, high school friends, cousins, Build-A-Bears, and Bumble matches are all fair game. I don’t have one specific best formal, but in light of my last formal next week I do have some reflections on the ones I’ve attended thus far.
In all honesty, if I realized that formal dates were a thing while I was going through recruitment, it’s not unlikely that I would have dropped. Finding formal dates just fuels our school’s competitive nature. A recent conversation with my dear first-year friend has provided me with two questions that I find relevant to share here.
The first question concerns formal dates. She asked, “Is it okay to go to his formal with him if I really don’t know the guy well?” My answer: the qualifications for acceptable people to ask as formal dates on this campus are as follows…
- Talking to the person for one minute every weekend at Mel’s
- Talking to the person for one minute total in your entire life
- Being Facebook friends with the person
- Sitting near the person in a class of over 50 people
- Not knowing the person AT ALL (aka: getting set up)
For a girl being asked by a guy you don’t know well, as long as you will have friends at the event, then there is no harm in going. Never be shy to make it clear that you want to go as friends. If they seem to be putting pressure on you to go as more then friends, feel free to respectfully decline the invite. They aren’t worth your time. If you do go as friends but feel like they still might be into you, you are always allowed to send aggressive friend vibes. No harm in wearing a turtleneck. For a girl looking to ask a guy, unless you are really excited to spend an entire night with one dude, make sure he will have friends at the event or is super great at making new friends so that when you want to go off and dance with your girls he doesn’t just stand in the corner awkwardly pretending to text. That’s not good for anyone.
The second question is another winner. She asked, “how much more formal is a formal than a semi-formal?” My response was not at all lol. The most formal you will get on this campus is when your formal dress will be a slightly embellished version of the short black dress you wore to semi-formal. Ladies, do not show up in a ball gown (not because you can’t rock one—you can never be overdressed or overeducated—but someone will probably spill something on it).
Overall, here is some advice and some things I’ve learned that lend themselves to a great formal:
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Make sure the dress/romper/outfit that you choose makes you comfortable and happy. If you need your friends to create a tape contraption to either keep you in the dress or hold the dress on your body, you might miss out on some of the better memories of the night while you adjust your outfit.
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I’ve yet to go on a party bus to formal and I’ve turned out fine.
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Where you go before does not matter as long as it can handle a lot of people, allows you to take pictures, and offers yummy food (ladies, EAT) and drinks that aren’t too expensive.
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I have never taken pre-formal pictures on college walk or at Lincoln Center. Someone please explain to me how girls stand outside in no clothes in the winter for the sake of the holiday trees in the background. They look gorgeous—don’t get me wrong—but I’m still confused. I guess my advice is that if you do try to take pictures here, maybe bring along random extra people to hold your jacket five feet away so you can jump back into it the second the picture ends.
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No matter how much you love to tear up the floor with moves, your friends will probably make fun of you. Just let it happen. It’s entertaining to wake up in their snap stories the next day.
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It’s great when someone brings those photobooth props that are like little hats and stuff / there is a photobooth in general.
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TFW the venue has no line for the bathroom.
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More advice can be found in the ABC’s of Formal Season