I wanted to rush since I knew I would be coming to Barnard, so I’ve been looking forward to recruitment weekend all year. We, the PNMs or Potential New Members, eagerly went to the first meeting where we met our group leaders (sorority girls who had disaffiliated to babysit us during the process). I was enthousiastic but also very unsure about what to expect. This year saw the biggest group of PNMs yet, and I thought back to stories I’d heard from last year where girls were cut fairly on in the process. I also had heard a range of things about each sorority–good and bad–but it was clear that I was going to have to make up my mind as I went through the weekend. Nervous but excited, I chose my outfit for Day One.
After the first day, I found myself pleasantly surprised by the first group. They all looked so pretty! But, unlike in the other sororities, the girls I knew in this group did not make any effort to seek me out and say hello. I was definitely disappointed. But I had a really nice time with the other groups. One was fun but clearly more relaxed about the process (aka not very dressed-up). Still, it was a really long day. My feet hurt, my face was stiff from smiling, we weren’t supposed to talk to the other PNMs between parties, we’d had to meet up at 8am just to wait around repeatedly, and we weren’t given any food at any of the parties. It’s no surprise that a lot of people dropped out after that day. I knew there was a lot more to come, though, so I stuck around.
The second day, we were taken to a maximum of 3 parties of the 4 sororities. I was excited to get my top three choices the next day, even though I felt bad about not seeing the friends I had in the one I’d ranked last. We were supposed to dress more casually than the day before, though most girls clearly put just as much effort into their outfits. This time, we were given food, but to my horror it was taken away when we had to leave although I had not even come close to finishing, no doubt due to some rule. It made me feel like the process was a little wasteful. Other than that, I began to form stronger opinions that guided my selection choices. I knew that I was being true to myself.
The third round of parties consisted of up to 2 invitations that were semi-formal themed. Luckily again, I got my top two choices (some girls were not so lucky this time). The number of PNMs seemed to be dropping steadily, but I still was surprised by just how many girls were still interested. Predictably, some girls pulled out all the stops and had on fantastic, expensive dresses and their hair was carefully made up. Interestingly, it seemed that the tables had turned a bit and the sororities were working harder to impress us this night. Fantastic desserts, personalized attention, and mini-rituals where PNMs were complimented completely changed the tone of the night. It certainly was my favorite night, and by the end of it I had made my decision.
My decision had been easier to make than I’d thought. At each party, I asked the girl I was paired with why she chose her sorority. One girl talked about the “feeling” that is commonly associated with choosing colleges, knowing somehow exactly where you’re supposed to be, and how she’d felt it with her sorority. I didn’t believe her at the time, but I actually did feel that way about the one I chose. I felt that the girls exuded a warmth and genuineness that I really liked. Also, many of the girls had the same career and academic goals I do. Now, I am proud to say that I am a member of that sorority and so far, I have no regrets!
All in all, the process seemed best summed up by calling it a “necessary evil”. I heard some horror stories about the selection process inside the sororities. One MRC explained that she hated the whole process and found recruitment unbearable due to how judgmental it was. Not to mention the physical discomfort caused by walking around in uncomfortable shoes and clothing, having to be “on” for hours, and the stress caused by the time lost to do work. It was also clear throughout the weekend that in many ways, the sorority sisters had a harder time of it than we did. They did tons of prep work and spent even more hours in even higher heels. But many girls also confessed that they enjoyed recruitment weekend, finding it brought them closer to their sisters.
But so far, I am constantly surprised by the friendliness displayed by my new sisters and how eager they are to get to know me. It’s a little overwhelming sometimes as I’m flooded with new obligations, but as time passes and recruitment weekend fades from memory, I become more and more happy about my decision to join…even though my schedule is crazier than ever!
To read the account of a senior sorority sister and learn more about Greek Life at Columbia, check out this piece at HC Columbia.