*Responses were edited for length and clarity.
Her Campus Columbia Barnard asked for your roommate confessions. We posted the first set, but there were more… and they were scarier…
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“I found out my roommate last semester was using my razor because he told me he had pubic lice which was TMI. Then, I became itchy red and splotchy in my nether regions and went to the health center, where they told me I had pubic lice too. Motherfucker really used my razor to shave his balls.”—CC 2022
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“I was placed in a one-room quad my freshman year with three girls I didn’t know. One night my roommate was asleep in her bed when she was awoken to our other roommate having loud sex with her boyfriend.”—Barnard 2019
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“My roommate and I met through tinder and it was weird that we were both going to Columbia in the fall and from Connecticut, so we roomed together. This was a bad idea from the start. This bitch would tell everyone on the floor that I wanted to fuck her (even though she also swipe on me) then she had the audacity to ask me why we never hooked up (we had. Several times). She either is just a bitch or I was really bad at sex. Now she’s with a guy from our floor. Just so you know, she’ll never tell you this but she loves it up the ass.”—CC 2020
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“My roommate will forever be held responsible in my mind and in the depths of my heart for my bad mug hygiene. Today in intro to psych we learned that the behaviors set in the first week of a relationship determine the habits for the rest of the relationship, and unfortunately my roommate was idiotic enough to wash all the mugs during our first week together. Thanks to her, I am permanently unable to wash mugs, and this impairment extends further to most types of kitchenware. I will never be able to manage my own kitchen independently due to her selfishness and unhealthy enabling of my mug phobia. I have tried for more than a year to overcome my hatred towards her for rendering me clean-mug-less—perhaps for life, for all I know—but every time I see her face, I see the wicked glint in her eyes that signals her desire to wash my mugs. Just as Lady Macbeth could not rinse her hands of the blood that signified the murders she had committed, I see only the dark shadow of detergent foam on the hands of my roommate. Try as I might, I do not believe that I will ever recover from my roommate’s horrible behavior at the dawn of our relationship.”—Barnard 2021
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“Had a roommate move in mid-semester. Took her to a get-together with some friends to try to be friends. She claimed to not drink then preceded to get more drunk and stoned than I’ve ever seen a human get, spilling food and drink all over the floor. She went home ahead of me. I got home around 2 a.m. Around 4 a.m. I heard a knock at our front door, and she was standing in the hallway outside the apartment completely naked. It got way worse after that first night.”—GS 2021
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“My freshman year roommate brought a boy home while I was sleeping and proceeded to start making out with him, which I woke up to. I then asked them to leave and the guy she brought shushed me and said “Its chill, its chill, I’m just gonna sleep over.” I then noticed my roommate was wasted and had to sign out the boy much to his protest while my roommate was passed out on her bed. It was not a fun way to wake up to at 3 a.m. to say the least.”—Barnard 2021
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“I had a racist ass roommate, who kept saying the n-word and called my girlfriend slurs.”—CC 2019
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“My roommate took nudes and sexted a boy right in front of me! With no checking in! Also, one day I couldn’t get in the room because she blocked the door with PILES of all her belongings on the floor.”—Barnard 2021
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“So I keep kosher, and one time my roommate got upset with me because I asked her to pay for something she needed to pay for. She didn’t say anything, but the next morning I woke up and found that she had put ham in my mini fridge under my bed….”—CC Alumni
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“Not my roommate but my suitemate used to go into the shower after every had used it in order to catch the person using her supplies. She would also constantly message the suite threats to not use her shampoo, razor, etc. She was crazy!”—Barnard 2021
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“Freshman year, move out day, my roommate put 18 Mike’s Hard Lemonades in my closet. I had literally already moved out, came back to do a final sweep and found them. I guess her plan was to try and frame me for having alcohol in our room? Anyways, I had to discreetly remove 18 BOTTLES of Mike’s Hard after I had already dealt with packing/moving all day.”—SEAS 2019
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“One of my suitemates shit in both of our showers one weekend and left it for someone else to clean up. She also continuously stole food throughout the year and refused to clean. Then, she made vague threats towards everyone else in the suite on social media when we called her out for it.”—Barnard 2020
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“Stole my snacks (chips, cookies, etc) along with his friends because I left them out sometimes, kept his giant ass computer monitors burning at full brightness at all hours when I’m trying to sleep (and was a little bitch when I called him out on it), had his friends over to smoke IN THE ROOM without telling me, one of his friends stole some of my drugs AFTER I had already shared some with them out of the goodness of my heart.”—CC 2022
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“Currently living with some awful roommates. One of them mailed the Christmas present I got her back to me —in March, and after she’d already half-used it. Another blocked me on LinkedIn. I didn’t even know that was possible.”—Barnard 2021
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“During Orientation Week, my roommate left her “best friend” to die while he passed out on the road due to excess drinking, so she could hook up with a boy. Her excuse: the boy took my phone; he said, “let me show you how to switch that off.” Bruh when i tell you that she was a social climber ?♀️?♀️.”—CC 2021
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“OKAY I had TWO bad roommates:
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The first was my first year roommate. She LITERALLY never talked to me, would avoid eye contact on the path, wouldn’t look at me when I walked in the room, only ever texted me 4 times in our entire lives. It made me so uncomfortable that I went to my RA about it. My RA said she’d talk to her. A month later, my RA called me to her room for a meeting. She said she’d talked with my roommate and figured out why she treated me that way: she was PRETENDING I didn’t EXIST. Wonderful.
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My sophomore year roommate was my RA and would steal from us, lie to us, told us it was okay to drink but then would freak out if we had wine with dinner, etc. The worst was when we couldn’t find any of our kitchen utensils, so we opened her cabinet and found them all DIRTY in her cabinet. Yep, old cereal bowls filled with breakfasts past, spoons with peanut butter on them from days ago.. this girl straight up would use dishes and put them BACK in the cabinet. Then we asked her where all the utensils were and she said she had no idea. THEN we went to ResLife and told them she was unfit to be an RA and made us feel unsafe in our own home, and guess what?! she is now a first year RA. sorry freshmen :/ Moral of the story is f*ck you Barnard ResLife <3” —Barnard 2019
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“She snorted cocaine with the RA every weekend, so I couldn’t even go to the RA to complain.”—GS 2019
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“One of my roommates adamantly insisted on keeping nuts in the room despite her knowing that I had a life threatening allergy. She also stole food from the rest of us repeatedly despite claiming to be “picky.” She kicked us out of the dorm because she wanted to be alone (this could have been fine if it hadn’t been for HOURS). Then proceeded to refuse to allow anyone else in the dorm to have the room for 10 minutes. She also walks around naked for hours at at a time and insists on conversing with people while fully nude.” —Barnard 2022
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“My roommate’s only decorations are pictures of his older brother. My roommate is not even in any of the photos. They’re legit just like his brother’s prom photos. When his brother came to visit, even he was really weirded out. I went to my RA and he said there is nothing I can do about it…”—SEAS 2021
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“Last semester, I flew home for 20 hours to mourn a sudden death in my family. I returned to school jet-lagged, heartbroken, and completely exhausted. I walked back into my room, to find my roommate there, who knew I had been home for a family emergency. She looked up from her computer, gave me a glare, and then looked back down. I was the one who initiated the “hello” and “how are you” and didn’t receive anything but a one word response of “good.” I got into bed around 8:00 that night, trying to sleep, but instead began to sob. My roommate just looked at me, shook her head, and got on the phone with her friend. She talked loudly on her phone, and was laughing with her friend the whole time I laid in the adjacent bed and cried. I was amazed by her inability to care. Finally, I asked her if she could continue her phone call in the living room so I could sleep, and she huffed at me, slamming the door on her way out.”—Barnard 2021
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“My roommate ate our goldfish when he was high. Never living with a kid from SEAS again.”—CC 2022
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“My freshman year triple was me and two girls from China. I did not speak any Chinese, but they would only speak to one another in Chinese. I assumed it was because it made them feel more like home, and totally understood. However, when my friend who speaks Chinese came to stay she found out that they were consistently planning on having sex on my bed when I wasn’t there, stealing my clothing and wearing it to the clubs, and finding ways to kick me out of the room.”—Barnard 2019
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“My roommate told her family that my boyfriend was in fact her boyfriend. When they came in for parents weekend, they kept saying how excited they were meet her boyfriend. She and I were never close, so I just assumed that she never mentioned him. Later that day, he and I were watching Drag Race and she and her parents came in. They immediately say hi to my boyfriend, and not to me, which I thought was really weird. Next thing you know they’re asking him all these questions about how he met my roommate (he responded with through me and then her dad thanked me for introducing them) and these questions about his personal life. I’m super confused, but just push it off. Then, things got really awkward when her father shakes his hand and says that he approves of my boyfriend dating his daughter. My roommate looks shook as hell at this point. She then rushes her parents out immediately. I have not brought it up since it happened.”—SEAS 2022
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“I have a life threatening peanut allergy and my roommate thought it would be funny to place a single peanut under my pillow. It wasn’t fucking funny.”—Barnard 2022