Horoscope by: Rafael Ortiz
Aries
Date of Birth: March 21 – April 19
Strength: hopeful, active, energetic, honest, versatile, brave, adventurous, passionate, generous, cheerful, argumentative, curious
Weakness: impulsive, naive, self-willed, belligerent, impatient
Always has tickets to the best events, was stuck at the Fyre festival, probably has a study abroad to Paris for the summer. Libra
Date of Birth: September 23 – October 23
Strength: idealistic, equitable, just, strong social skills, aesthetic, charming, artistic, beautiful, kind-hearted
Weakness: hesitant, narcissistic, lazy, perfunctory, freewheeling
Always has free time but its probably because they don’t do half the assignments they’re supposed to.
Scorpio
Date of Birth: October 24 – November 22
Strength: mysterious, rational, intelligent, independent, intuitive, dedicated, insightful, charming, sensible
Weakness: suspicious, fanatical, complicated, possessive, arrogant, self-willed, extreme
MADE the crying in the library sign because these kids had distracted them. Did not come to play. Always has their work done, but won’t share it with anyone.
Cancer
Date of Birth: June 22 – July 22
Strength: with strong sixth sense, subjective, gentle, swift, imaginative, careful, dedicated, perseverant, kind, caring
Weakness: greedy, possessive, sensitive, prim
Is single handedly responsible for every friend during the party, will tell you if that boy you’re flirting with is cute, will also drag you from a sticky situation.
Gemini
Date of Birth: May 21 – June 21
Strength: multifarious, perspicacious, smart, cheerful, quick-witted, clement, charming
Weakness: fickle, gossipy, amphibian
Always has something to say about other friends, has codes because they’re usually in the room.
Sagittarius
Date of Birth: November 23 – December 21
Strength: insightful, superior, rational, brave, beautiful, lively, lovely, optimistic
Weakness: forgetful, careless, rash
Forgot about that five page essay until the night before it was due. Not again!
Taurus
Date of Birth: April 20 – May 20
Strength: romantic, decisive, logical, diligent, ardent, patient, talented in art, perseverant, benevolent
Weakness: prejudiced, dependent, stubborn
A Taurus always tries to get someone to come to a party with them, even during finals week.
Capricorn
Date of Birth: December 22 – January 19
Strength: excellent, intelligent, practical, reliable, perseverant, generous, optimistic, cute, persistent
Weakness: stubborn, lonely, and suspicious
Most likely to spend all day with Netflix on but still party every once and a while.
Aquarius
Date of Birth: January 20 – February 18
Strength: original, tolerant, ideal, calm, friendly, charitable, independent, smart, practical
Weakness: changeful, disobedient, liberalistic, hasty, rebel
Procrastinates everything, does not have a summer internship. It is totally okay though, their dad is on the board of a fortune 500, will probably spend the summer yachting.
Leo
Date of Birth: July 23 – August 22
Strength: proud, charitable, reflective, loyal and enthusiastic
Weakness: arrogant, vainglorious, indulgent, wasteful, willful, and self-complacent
Doesn’t go to class but probably having an affair with one of the TA’s so its fine.
Pisces
Date of Birth: February 19 – March 20
Strength: conscious, aesthetic, platonic, dedicated, kind, with good temper
Weakness: recessive, sentimental, indecisive, unrealistic
Will often work hard to get things done but isn’t afraid to relax and let things go too. Only, their mental health day usually falls during that econ quiz. Looks like its time for one of those “I was really sick” emails.
Virgo
Date of Birth: August 23 – September 22
Strength: helping, elegant, perfectionist, modest, practical, clearheaded
Weakness: picky, nosey, tortuous, confining
Has the coveted internship at “The Goldman Sachs”. Runs a woke club but is a finance major.