There is something about New York City that makes you feel like you have to do everything, all at once, all the time. You walk down the street, and everyone seems to be moving faster than you, smiling wider than you, achieving bigger than you. If you are like me, comparison makes you start craving stress. If you are not juggling a million things, are you really doing enough?
College has a way of making us feel like our worth is tied to how much we can perform. We arrive here having done well in the past, so naturally we think we have to keep proving ourselves. The “to-do” list is endless—internships, clubs, networking events, study groups, parties, leadership roles. However, if we engage in these activities for the wrong reasons, chasing what looks good on paper instead of what feels right, we start performing instead of living. We start shrinking ourselves into boxes that other people expect us to fit into, carrying burdens we did not ask for.
Here is what I have learned: your energy, passion, and authentic desire to do something you care about is stronger than anything you can fake. You are here for a purpose, even if it is not clear yet. What’s beautiful is you get to write that purpose yourself. Not for a résumé, not for a social media post, not for someone else’s checklist, but simply for yourself.
The first step is to stop measuring yourself against everyone else. Comparison is the root of this performance trap. When you catch yourself thinking, “Am I doing enough?” or “Am I moving fast enough?”, pause. Ask yourself instead, “Does this align with what I genuinely want? Am I putting my energy into something I love?”
The second step is to say yes to what lights you up and no to what drains you. It sounds simple, but it takes practice. The opportunities that feel authentic will always sew themselves together. They will build momentum in a way that performance cannot. The things you do out of obligation, fear, or for someone else’s approval will feel heavy. They will create boxes, burdens, and exhaustion.
Finally, embrace the process of discovering your purpose. Every day, you learn something new about yourself—what a privilege. Every choice, every project, and every conversation is a chance to define who you are and what you want to contribute to the world. You are allowed to change your mind, pivot, and let your passions guide you. The life you build from what you love will always be more fulfilling than any life you perform for.
Stop trying to fit in. Stop performing for validation that will never feel like enough. Write your purpose in bold strokes, follow it with curiosity, energy, and love. When you do things with passion, everything sews together. You start showing up fully. You start belonging to yourself. When you are fully you, the world seems to know exactly where to meet you.