Getting nostalgaic for the glory days of freshman year? Starting to look back on the days when you actually washed your hair for frat parties? So is Features Staff writer, Alexandra:
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the internet is a black hole. The other day, I somehow wound up reading years of accumulated 1020 Yelp reviews (which is crazy because I am there at least three times per week and I know exactly what it is like) when an overwhelming wave of nostalgia crushed over my head. I mean, how could I not, when Paul D. from Manhattan, NY is saying things like: “Would I hang here often? No, but that’s just because I appreciate a more upscale scene. But Columbia isn’t in session at the time of this writing, so I can’t say what it’s like when the undergrads are around. It could get interesting!”
While I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is DJ Pauly D, noted patron of “more upscale scenes,” as a second semester senior, I cannot help but to shed a tear thinking of how interesting it COULD get. However, this nostalgia might be clouding my judgment. I have laughed, played games, and won funniest trivia name at 1020, but I have also fought, gotten stuck in the corner of the booth under a pile of coats, and simply fallen asleep at the counter. In light of this powerful nostalgia, I thought it might be interesting to juxtapose my SWUG (senior washed up girl) perspective with my clear-eyed sentiments of earlier years.
The Carman Laundry Room
SWUG: Ahhh the smell of detergent as I pass Carman on 114th!
Actual Freshman: It is an example of Dante’s contrapasso that, in retribution for never doing my laundry, I must do my laundry in this disgusting circle of Hell and never feel clean ever again.
Carman Hall Generally
SWUG: Such lounge culture! I would never know who these hot athletes were if they hadn’t lived on my floor. I remember the nights spent in the hallway, talking about nothing with such fondness!
Actual Freshman: I still don’t know those hot athletes and that hallway was covered in weird wall-to-wall carpeting that was in turn covered in disconcerting stains and the broken ceiling tiles from when said hot athletes drunkenly punched them.
The Dining Halls
SWUG: I will accept a swipe from anyone in exchange for the miraculous variety and unending supply of food.
Actual Freshman: This food makes your stomach feel like the sauces smell and the sushi features hearts of palm. Why?
Frat Parties
SWUG: So glad there’s a venue where I can rely on hearing Justin Bieber’s “Sorry” and can find elevated surfaces upon which I might dance!
Actual Freshman: Is it really dancing if it’s just guys in fleece vests high fiving each other? Also, this basement is sweaty and I feel conflicted about the politics. Good thing they play “Baby” all the time!
So, instead of staring down at your homework and asking yourself, “To what end?” realize that there is no end, and that your degree will never provide you with a starting salary close to what you need to live comfortably in New York City after college! You might as well breath in the detergent, eat your “Buffalo Chicken Philadelphia Roll,” and listen to the entire “Purpose” album on repeat in Butler because Columbia’s a weird place and, as DJ Pauly D. so succinctly surmised, it could get interesting!
**Disclaimer: This is a personal piece and does not necessarily reflect the views of Her Campus Media.