On November 7, after several excruciating days of waiting on thousands upon thousands of mail-in ballots to be counted in Nevada, Arizona, North Carolina, Georgia, and Pennsylvania, former Vice President Joe Biden was officially declared by major news outlets the president-elect of the United States. Undoubtedly, this has been one of the most historic presidential elections, generating the highest voter turnout in U.S. history and the most votes ever cast for a presidential candidate in a U.S. election. However, it is also historic in that there has been more division than ever within the country due to the election and the volatile circumstances that have surrounded it. Some of these include the highest daily COVID-19 case numbers the U.S. has seen since the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic, the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement and fervent calls against police brutality, and the Donald Trump administration’s exit from the Paris climate agreement.
Since his victory, Biden has repeatedly called for an end to the divisive nature of the country, and more specifically, the “grim era of demonization” that has run rampant these past four years. But if you were to talk to a number of people during this unruly and chaotic time, it probably isn’t as easy to let bygones be bygones this election year as it has in past years. Social media has been filled with announcements from people calling for any Trump supporters following their accounts to remove themselves, and so many more have simply blocked and ended friendships with others who have openly supported Trump and voted for him this election season. With these acts taking place, many question, perhaps more silently, whether they should follow suit in their friendships and relationships.
Normally, the rhetoric of “putting differences aside” when it comes to the world of politics would be the more mainstream commentary after election cycles, but what complicates and puts relationships at risk is that Trump is unlike any other American politician — and not only because he openly markets himself as the antithesis of typical politicians. He’s known for a long and explicit history of racist remarks and behavior, attacking the press, perpetuating dangerous conspiracy theories, significantly mishandling the coronavirus pandemic that has claimed over 230,000 American lives and counting, and most recently, his undermining of the U.S. electoral system through outlandish claims of mass voter fraud and refusing to concede to president-elect Biden. Knowing that this is what Trump stands for, it’s understandable that many have found it hard and inexcusable to continue friendships with others who openly support him and the rhetoric he has spewed throughout his time in the Oval Office.
Personally, election week surprised me as to how many of my friendships would truly be challenged and the varying encounters I’ve had with those who supported him. I’m from Florida, but one of its most Democratic counties, so one can imagine how conflicting my interactions have been. I’ve had to unfollow many people who I’ve known since middle school because they baselessly supported Trump, but since we weren’t close to begin with, those were much easier decisions to make. I was surprised (and hurt) to learn that some of my closer friends fervently supported him and embodied every single stereotype of a Trump supporter once Election Day hit since they hadn’t seemed to support his actions before the election. Being that those friends are also close to some BIPOC and LGBTQ+ members of our circle, we have been unsure about how to move forward with those friends who supported Trump in the future.
However, I recently had a conversation with another person who voted for Trump, and I was more able to understand their position, although it is not a popular one among most Trump supporters. I thanked this person when they posted a congratulatory message for Biden on their social media, as it’s clear a lot of Republicans and Trump supporters have yet to do the same and look for reasons to discredit the recent election. Because of that, this person felt comfortable sharing with me that they voted the way they did mainly out of supporting the Republican Party since they had associated with it for so long, along with the fact that they felt Biden was inconsistent in his positions. Since they’ll also be joining the military, they were mainly looking at policies that were relevant to their future and didn’t feel Biden would address their concerns.
Though I took a very different position on these issues, my conversation illuminated a commonality in feeling the need to settle and not truly being “for” a candidate. I’m sure there are many moderate Republicans who found themselves in a similar position. This person and I were able to have a strong conversation and find similar passions on racial justice for marginalized communities, political and electoral reforms, how COVID-19 needs to be maintained, and other areas, and in a climate of so much division, I wondered if I was even doing the correct thing the entire time.
I want to stress that recounting my experiences isn’t to support the idea of “putting differences aside,” especially since I completely agree with the notion that there should be little to no tolerance for the rhetoric and stances Trump and his administration have put forward. I think what is important, however, is being able to decipher the true intentions behind how people voted and where they truly stand on positions. Being that this is my first time voting at the ripe age of 18, I was never expecting to participate in perhaps the most volatile election in U.S. history, let alone was cutting ties or distancing myself from many people in my life. This year has also been one of the toughest for me as I’ve ended other significant friendships during the pandemic for personal reasons, and the stress and explosiveness of this election season have left me with significant anxiety and stress. I know others who are in my position, and what’s important to recognize is that this moral dilemma is essential to create change. Many are coming from a personal place of emotional and personal trauma and are learning how to navigate not only their relationships with others but also their relationships with themselves. For those who have already ended friendships, know that other people in your life can carry you through and that you are strong enough without them if you felt that you needed to cut them out of your life.
While Biden’s win is celebratory in that it is an end to Trump’s tumultuous presidency, there is still much work to be done on all levels. It is important to push forward and demand change from all sides in police brutality, COVID-19, healthcare access for all, women’s rights and LGBTQ+ rights, racial justice, and so many other areas. Continue doing the work, fighting the fight, and getting into “good trouble.” This is only the beginning.