With the last day of classes behind me, I have never felt more ready for summer break. But, with all the rushing around and preparing for finals and the fateful, emotional day of move-out looming, I realized I hadn’t taken a moment to breathe.
We, the Class of 2019, are days away from finishing our first-year of college successfully. We did it! It’s a time for celebration and reflection on our accomplishments, the many hurdles we jumped over, the friends we have made, and the connections we have forged. It is a time to consider the classes you have completed as a path to your major or a large leap in avoiding that subject in the future. We might not think so, but we have learned so much this year. Here are a few of my reflections:
NSOP is a complete blur.
Some students make their best friendships during orientation, this was not the case for me. NSOP is a faded memory, a rush of activities and roommate chats, somewhat forced socializing, and not calling my mom enough. Plus, feeling sweaty and exhausted at almost every moment of the week. To any class of 2020ers reading this blog, don’t let NSOP create the standard of what you think college will be like. My experience was completely different and completely better in an incomparable manner. But, you will probably never sleep enough your whole first-year.
Listen to yourself and your parents during first semester.
Like I said, I didn’t call my mom enough. I was a little lost first semester. Coming from an intense high school environment where I dedicated all my time to studying made me want to do the opposite when I arrived here. I went to too many concerts and book signings and committed myself to too many activities; I didn’t focus enough on my classwork. It was a wake up call for me when I didn’t do as well as I was accustomed to, and I had to do a lot of reevaluating over Winter Break. Thankfully, my mom was always there to remind me, sarcastically and supportively:
Holiday/seasonal breaks don’t have to be fantastic like you see on TV.
Going home after being away for a few months is going to feel strange. It felt a little less weird for me since I’m from New Jersey and visit home a few times a month, but, nonetheless, the places and the people seemed different. I spent both my winter and spring breaks primarily with my family and only saw my few close friends once or twice. Everyone is busy and has a unique college schedule; there were no school-wide heartfelt reunions or amazing parties. It felt less ceremonial than I thought it would, so my mom baked me brownies to mark the occasion.
Do what you feel.
If you cannot get out of bed at 8:00 AM on that Monday morning and haven’t missed classes yet, sleep in. It’s worth it to know what your body can handle and to take mental health days every once in awhile. We are at such a fast paced college with high standards and it’s okay to hide under your blankets and let your body recover from the stress: work, family, friends, or whatever else it may be.
You are here for a reason.
You belong here. I belong here. In a moment when you’re feeling down or you didn’t get an A on that quiz, it’s easy to let your mind wander to the worst possible thoughts. It would be easy to lower your aspirations or consider transferring to an easy school, but that’s not why you’re here and that’s not what you came to Barnard to do. You came here to try your best, learn, and succeed, whatever succeeding means to you. I remind myself everyday that Barnard picked me and I picked Barnard, and that is for a reason greater than any bad grade or hefty assignment. Don’t let anything get to you.
Finals are the last obstacle.
We are almost there. Three more exams and I can taste the freedom and exhilaration of rolling my cart-full of belongings onto Broadway and into my grandfather’s car. Three more chances to show all I’ve learned this semester and make myself, my family, and my professors proud. Three more chances to close out the year with a bang. No problem. Failure is not in my vocabulary.
It will all come together.
We have three more years to mold us into the bright women we will be when we cross that graduation stage in blue robes. We have time, support, and amazing opportunities. We don’t have to have it all figured out at this exact point in time. It’s not worth it to stress about what you’re doing this summer or whether or not you should’ve or could’ve done more this year. It is a time to reflect and celebrate! We survived! And now we’re coming home and soaking up the summer rays! One day we’ll look back on this moment and be filled with pride.
So, to my fellow freshman, congratulations! Good luck on your finals (make Rory and Paris proud) and thank you for reading my journey. See you next fall when we’re official sophomores!
Love & HCXO,
Sydney