Madonna’s Super Bowl performance last night turned out to be a bone of contention for all who watched. Some loved the gilded charade, others complained about M.I.A’s explicit hand gesture, but I think we can all agree it was entertaining. At the Super Bowl party I attended, the most-discussed issue was Madonna’s age. “She’s like 80!” someone yelled. The material girl is all grown up. In fact, she’s 53. Should she really be donning a Cleopatra/cheerleader mini-skirt? Should she have such toned arms? Should she be doing flips over her back-up dancers? Food for thought. Whether appropriate or not, there she was on what looked like the Death Star, rocking out like a mom on New Year’s. It was simultaneously awesome and embarrassing, but not as awesome/embarrassing as Cee Lo’s fully sequined church gown. But, more on that later.
The set began with a rendition of “Vogue,” in which Madonna sounded as auto-tuned as Sue Sylvester on Glee. A combination of the early 90’s and the Hellenistic era, the Queen of Pop-cum-Queen of Egypt shone on a golden throne. She danced her way onto the stage, stood on one high-heeled leg, and sat on her dancers like Brüno’s furniture. The medley then turned to “Music”, where on the bleachers, millions watched Madge almost take a spill, but the best part of this number was by far when Art Garfunkel showed up to bounce around on a tight rope. Someone at every Super Bowl party in the country exclaimed, “Doesn’t that hurt?!”. By the time he balanced on his ankles, we were over it.
Then back to the future we ran as LMFAO joined the scene. She might be 53, but the woman can party shuffle. Debuting their new song, the three M’s, Madonna, M.I.A. and Minaj then sang “Give Me All Your Luvin’”. They wore Ms on their costumes, and danced in an M formation. We get it. Hold back the shower of M&Ms falling from the sky (although that would be really cool).
When we thought it couldn’t handle anymore star power, Cee Lo Green came marching in, drumline in tow. The two powerhouses belted out a few lines of “Express Yourself”, but that was over sooner than it began.
Just as we began to look for Adele, Madge brought us back to the eighties with “Like a Prayer”…cue the gospel choir. This was by far the most bizarre number of the set. As soon as Madonna and Cee Lo found time for a costume change, the sequin-clad duo were lifted up above the choir. They sang a few notes together, until Madge topped off the spectacle in true fashion, with all eyes on her. Was she supposed to be God? I’m not sure, but I found myself on my knees, praying that she would do that downward-dog move in front of LMFAO again. She suddenly descended into a cloud of smoke. The show concluded with the words “World Peace” projected across the field. C’mon, Super Bowl.
All in all, the show was a success. Should a woman her age still be projecting sex from all angles? Maybe not. Did the performance establish world peace? Definitely not. But of one thing the Queen made clear, Monday morning water-cooler talk was going to be all about her.