The five days off from school during Thanksgiving break meant family coming over for big dinners. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all gathered around the dinner table cracking jokes with the kids and catching up with daughters, sons, and siblings. As a kid in my elementary school years, that image was far from that of my own Thanksgiving. I spent Thursday morning talking on the phone with my grandparents and aunts who live all the way in Bangladesh. There is an eleven-hour time difference between Bangladesh and New York. Since I didn’t have school, I could talk to them on the phone at 10 a.m. New York time. Thursday evening was watching the Thanksgiving special on Disney Channel with my six-year-old sister. We laughed as the mom from Good Luck Charlie, Amy Duncan, cranks up the heat while cooking the turkey until it goes flying into the backyard. I looked over to see my own mom standing in the kitchen, making her usual yellow chicken, wondering if turkey tasted like chicken. However, I decided I was perfectly happy with my mom’s chicken and rice.
Friday was an exciting day, and even more so during Thanksgiving break because I didn’t have school. Every day Muslims observe Jummah’, a day when the men and some women gather in the Masjid to listen to a sermon by the Imam and pray together afterwards. Since I didn’t have school, I could go to the Masjid with my dad this Friday. I wore a nice-looking salwar kameez, and then bundled up in layers — November in New York was a freezing winter wonderland. My dad and I headed to the parking lot out of our apartment when I saw grandparents holding huge gift bags as their little grandkids trailed alongside them. I smiled at them, then looked to my dad who was telling me the car was already warmed up for us.
Once at the Masjid, my dad joined the men, and I followed some of my friends from Sunday Islamic school to the women’s section. Today’s sermon was about gratitude.
“In America, we celebrate being thankful on just one day, but as Muslims, we show gratitude every moment in our lives.”
Right at the opening of the sermon, I began to wonder, since people only celebrate Thanksgiving on one day, does that mean that they aren’t thankful the rest of the days? It might’ve started out as a silly thought, but I slowly started to discover something.
“Think about the very breath you take that keeps you alive. The warm clothes protecting you from the cold winter coming. Your parents and grandparents and friends who love you so much. These are all gifts from God. And you should be grateful. How? The first step is to believe in God and trust in God. The next step is to do good things with your blessings. Help your mom in the kitchen, play with your little brother or sister, and smile at your friends and neighbors. Gratitude comes from the heart.”
This sermon and many like it stuck with me.
Life has changed since my elementary school years — my family and I moved into a different house, my little brother arrived, and some of my mom’s cousins started to move to the U.S. Many more things to be grateful for. Last year, Thanksgiving looked a little different. My mom’s friend had invited us to a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Now, I had been dragged to many dinner parties, but they were always the traditional Bengali dinners with biryani, curry chicken, fish, and more. This family friend, with the help of her three daughters, put together mashed potatoes, stuffing, pumpkin pies, and a million other side dishes alongside the turkey. My mom’s friend also invited her brother and his family, adding more and more to the traditional Thanksgiving vibe that I had hoped for as a kid. I was very grateful for the good friends that my parents made which helped them through the feelings of loneliness without our extended family nearby.
After this childhood Thanksgiving and last year’s Thanksgiving, I had a whole new outlook on gratitude. I had always wanted to have big Thanksgiving meals like my neighbors, but I realize now that not having certain things in my life made me exponentially more grateful for them. Not having my grandparents and uncles and aunts close made me trust in God that one day we would be reunited. And when my mom’s younger cousin came to stay with us for a winter break, and another cousin stayed during spring break with another cousin staying during the summer, I was infinitely thankful.
This Thanksgiving in 2020 will be in quarantine with my family as the pandemic runs its course. To think a few months ago, many of us Columbia and Barnard students thought Thanksgiving would be the first time we would see our families since the start of the semester. For some, it’s now the time parents start wondering when their kids will leave the house! For me, after spending so much time at home with my mom, my dad, my sister, and little brother, I am eternally grateful for each and every moment with them.
I say, Alhumdullilah, all praise to God, with sincerity in my heart.