If you attend, or watch TV shows that include any information about a university in the 21st century, then you know what a frat party is. While I’m sure various schools have different ideas and implications of what goes on at different fraternities and their individual chapters, stereotypes still exist for a reason. The stereotype of a frat party usually includes a crazy, sweaty place where boys and girls join in drunken celebration and try and grind on as many people as they can. The night ends with everyone dropping like flies or puking their guts out one by one. There are jungle juice bowls on every table, beer pong winners and losers both stumbling over. Eventually the drunk munchies kick in, and then it’s time to walk on with the wedgie from your pencil skirt to inhale pizza at three in the morning.
Parties like this often don’t exist outside of movies; however, some of the themes still occur, including right here at Barnumbia. As a sophomore with Cerebral Palsy, these parties are a nightmare. The second I walked close to the Sigma Epsilon house, for example, I could already feel myself potentially pushed over 10 times within the first five minutes of climbing up the steps. One step in a puddle of spilled vodka and I’m on my ass. Totally not embarassing. Sure, anybody can be a little clumsy and pushed over at parties. Hell, fire codes for the maximum amount of people in a building exist for this very reason. But for someone like me who wants to be included in this “party culture,” the fear of almost dying every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night does not make the inclusion worth it.
Cerebral Palsy, for those who are unaware, is a disability that affects my balance and stamina — two things that are crucial to all “clubbing” environments. The dark ambience, not knowing where my friends are at all times, and the lack of knowing how I’m getting home are also components to parties that often keep me from going. When I have gone, I could not enjoy said party because I was pushed over so easily, and when I lost my friend, I had to walk home across campus in a not-so-sober state all alone. Other students with different disabilities, physical or mental, may have an easier or more difficult time, which can even stop them from going entirely.
The reality of participating in the social party culture on college campuses with a disability is often overlooked and/or pitied. I can recall many times when I’ve had to reluctantly walk back to my room to watch The Grinch in the dark from a pregame instead of joining my friends at various parties, clubs, and bars. My mind says yes, but my legs say hell no. The purpose of these parties is just to crowd together with random strangers to drink until your liver is crying and you forget the midterm coming up in a week. We come to college as baby first-years looking forward to going out four out of seven nights a week, and continue this pattern until graduation. And yes, even disabled students want to live a little and let go of some steam once in a while.
I don’t mean to make it seem like us disabled students don’t have a good time while at college. Nine out of 10 times, I would much rather prefer to watch The Grinch in my sweatpants than have some grimy men trying to flirt with me before talking to another girl five seconds later.
Moreover, the stigma of disabled people in settings like these are more negative than positive. With certain mind inhibitors, i.e. drugs, alcohol, and adrenaline, the filters of intellectual college students often decide to yeet out their brains. Because of this, some people feel more inclined to make ignorant statements about their disabled peers. For example, I was recently compared to Stephen Hawking in terms of sexiness, because clearly all disabled people are the same. Never mind that I am not a white man in a motorized chair, but instead an African-American nineteen-year-old girl just trying to drop off her friend and grab a couple of White Claws for the road. Truth be told, that statement by a drunk, probably-not-worth-my-time asshole still hurt. Not that I care what his opinion is of me or my sexiness, because I am a strong independent woman, but I have feelings too, you know?
So yes, party culture on college campuses can be, and usually are, a nightmare for students like me with physical mobility issues. Sure once in a while, my friends come over for a wine night or my teammates will have a small get-together in one of their dorm rooms, and then I am “included” in this college party culture. However, if my friends decide they want to get roaring drunk and make out with random guys at the frat house (and no judgment there, we’ve all had those feelings before), I cannot say that I’ll be able to join along with them.
One day it will be the social norm to have more wine nights and less pushing and knocking back red Solo cups on Friday evenings. I look forward to those days — and if anybody would like to join me in starting this culture, please do so. Also, I own about 200 red Solo cups because my mother thought it would be cute to buy me them at BJ’s as a joke, but I do not anticipate this happening in my upcoming three years of college. All I’m saying is, when you do get dressed up for a party in that insanely tight tube top — and girl, I commend you for it — just think about some of the people on campus who would kill to have a night like that, but are instead eating halal cart gyros and watching Christmas movies on a September afternoon because the culture is not welcoming.