Between the Sheets: What HE Has to Say

This is a very special edition of "Between the Sheets." After hearing the reactions of some guys to my blog last year (they ranged from utter disbelief that girls could actually think this way to "Who was that one about?!"), I decided to offer up the chance for a guy to give his perspective on the sex scene here at Columbia and in general. Every other week, I will write a post for Between the Sheets, and on my off-weeks, our anonymous male author will be writing one from his perspective. Here's his first contribution. I'm already learning so much.... ;)

I have a point to make on behalf of all men. I feel like guys get a lot of grief for “locker room talk,” sharing all of their sexual exploits with their friends, and generally being disrespectful towards the girls they hook up with (Hopefully you can all think of a few exceptions). But I can’t tell you how much more often we prefer to keep our mouths shut. Girls however…..

Last year, one of my best friends (who, yes, is a girl), lived in a suite with five other girls, and one night I was over when a “wine night” commenced.

I and four of the girls were watching Skrillex cat on YouTube (IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU WATCH THAT LINK) while the fifth sat to the side, holding her phone like it was glued to her body, texting furiously. So, eventually the others got a little curious, and it came out that the fifth girl was 'sexting' her boyfriend. Then came the part that really blew my mind. We got a full dramatic reading of every sext this girl and her boyfriend had ever exchanged.

This would never happen in a locker room. Not only did I not know that people still sext, but also guys (at least my friends and I) don't really want to know what occurs in the “privacy” of your imessages. But the rest of the girls in the suite needed to hear those sexts. NEEDED. Skrillex cat was forgotten and the wine was put aside (I took the opportunity to finish it).

If and when I do talk about sex with my friends, it goes something like “Hey, you slept with that girl?” “Yeah.” “How was it?” “Good.” We are not analyzing every time you shifted your weight or turned your head. So, don't worry. The entire male population of the school doesn’t know what you’re like in bed. (Unless you’ve gone there with them all, which, hey, is your prerogative and just fine, but not the point here).

The point is, I now know exactly what this girl and her boyfriend do, plan to do, or want to do but are too freaked out to, in bed.

It made me wonder, is it possible that girls are more preoccupied with sex than guys are?

Of course, I can’t speak for every guy, but if I were to make a generalization on behalf of my gender, the only things we really think when it comes to sex are either “yes, I want to do that with you,” or “no, I don’t want to do that with you.” The girls at this wine night, however, were sharing play-by-play information about their hookups, and all I could think was “Oh God, what if droplets of sweat on my forehead have ever dripped onto a girl’s face?! Did she tell everyone?! Is this why I haven’t had sex in two months – am I sweat droplet guy?!

In closing, what I’m saying is: I’ll keep our sexy time secret if you will. I think we could all benefit from leaving a little to the imagination.

*image via forums.achaea.com