So we all know that dorm rooms are freaking tiny. And in an effort to conserve space, the beds are often arranged as monumental skyscrapers above the rest of our possessions. When one is sober and alone, this is really not a problematic situation, however, fortunately we also encounter our beds when we are a little less than sober and have company.
Let me lay out a little scenario for you. To mix it up a bit, this weekend you’re chilling at Cannons. It’s popping in there. Freshmen are attempting to grind on the tables, the three old dudes who live at the bar are being super friendly, and you’ve had about four Bitchfaces. A very intellectual young gentleman wearing a backwards baseball cap starts singing Wake Me Up in your ear. He gets some of the lyrics right, and you love that song, so you decide to go home with him.
Your place is closer, so it seems like a no-brainer. You sign him in, and your security guard gives you a subtle look of judgment (must be the backwards baseball cap). Your roommate went home for the weekend, so everything is perfect, right? Then you open the door, and you see it: your lofted bed. How in God’s name are the two of you going to make it up there? It’s hard enough on your own!
You decide to just take it easy, and let the situation unravel however it may. You consider sleeping on the floor a viable option. So you’re making out, leaning against the door, running your hands through his backwards baseball cap. He starts to pull you back towards the bed area. You both stand there staring at it for a second, and then you, smooth as could possibly be, say, “’Kay, I’ll meet you up there, man!” And thus the problem of the lofted bed is solved. Of course, we’ve yet to deal with the problem of sharing a twin-sized bed, but that is an issue for another post. #whydoesmysecurityguardhateme #doesanyonereallylikebackwardsbaseballhatsondudes