What a week our country has endured! Not only do we have a new president, but we also have a new Bachelorette, albeit the latter’s transfer of power seemed much more decisive and smooth than the other. Somehow, Clare Crawley’s reign as the head of ABC’s hit dating reality show managed to be shorter than the cumulative time Americans spent watching John King’s love affair with the election map on CNN this week, which we all took a much needed break from watching to tune into the wild Bachelorette episode on Thursday night. So what even happened? I’m still trying to process the incredulity myself, even after all of the rumors circulating this summer.
Claire blew it up, as Chris Harrison so dramatically warned her, and she blew it up with… wait for it… Dale, the former football player, turned (underperforming Party City) model who caught her attention night one. For the first three weeks, it was truly the Dale show. Claire incessantly crushed over him like a teenage fangirl, often blowing off the other men, getting annoyed when they roasted Dale in a comedic grill session, and picking strange fights with contestants over immature claims. By last week, it became pretty apparent to the men that Dale was the front-runner when he and Claire disappeared for over an hour on a group date for a streamy bedroom make-out session. With tension sky high, Clare decided to cancel this week’s group date in lieu of a solo date with Dale (talk about stirring the pot). During their candlelight dinner, the two discussed their feelings, and Clare gushed about how her parents got engaged after only three weeks of knowing each other. If Dale had any sort of intuition, he would have then ran for the hills. But no, turns out their families seem identical, and they are both completely in love with each other ( ~swoon~, I guess).
Next, week four turned into fantasy suite week, naturally, as Clare and Dale progressed to the bedroom. Meanwhile, the men back at the house hadn’t seen Dale in hours and were understandably annoyed. Fast forward to the morning of this dramatic date, and in classic Bachelor fashion, the producers made a point to show Clare and Dale snuggling in bed together just to make it crystal clear to viewers that they spent the night together. Dale left, and Clare broke down, saying that it’s a done deal and that they should get married on the spot. She and Chris talked and Chris gleefully suggested that Dale proposes tonight. That’s it- game over because Dale won (shocker). Now the whole scenario seemed so ridiculous, and I cannot help but wonder how much of a commission Chris gets from Neil Lane for each proposal on the show, because, at least to me, this whole rushed 24-hour date/proposal seemed to be the equivalent of a post one-night-stand little white chapel Las Vegas wedding, which is a little rushed even for Bachelor standards.
The poor, poor guys received the bombshell news from Chris, there was an anti-climatic proposal, and the guys had one night to decide whether to stay for a new bachelorette or leave. Having really opened up to Clare, a few men were quite torn and annoyed about the whole situation. Others, including fan-favorite Bennett, were excited at the prospect of a new start, especially given the way Clare treated them. After all, they each had to quarantine at the resort for two weeks before the show could start. Everyone eventually stayed without knowing who the new Bachelorette is, and they lined up to start “limo introduction night take two”. Bachelor Nation got another irritating cliff-hanger, as we saw Taysia Adams, the runner-up during Colton’s season last year and a star from Paradise, step out to commence her “term” as the new star of the show. It was what everyone has been anxiously waiting for, and it’s finally here! Get ready, Bachelor Nation, for Tuesday and the new era to begin!