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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Colgate chapter.

I know, I know, I watch The Bachelor—arguably the most vapid television show currently in syndication—but hear me out. Yes, the time I spend watching it may essentially translate into negative space in the universe, but I like to look at my Bach habit as a social experiment to see just how many times a human male can possibly say the word “awesome” in a span of two hours. Here are a few of my reactions to Colton’s journey for love so far:

1. How many showers can a single man take? It feels like every time Colton has a ~pensive, brooding~ moment, he HAS to jump in the shower to splash water on his face. It’s probably a producer-motivated plot to get him to show off his pecs for the viewers—which is appreciated, not gonna lie—but honestly, this is an excessive level of personal hygiene.

2. Ok, these girls are actually pretty badass. On the group date in the jungles of Thailand, Nicole casually sticks her hand in a hole with an eel in it and Tayshia is super chill with having a scorpion crawl all over her. Then Hannah B. swallows a bug while Colton literally fakes eating his and throws it over his shoulder instead. Smooth moves, dude. Let this serve as proof that girls really do run the world.

3. Can we start a petition to bring back Catherine’s dog? Not Catherine herself—homegirl looks too much like a Kim Zolciak-Biermann clone that it makes me uncomfy—but just the puppy? Test out Colton’s dog-sitting skills to see if he’s really husband material.

4. Anyone else feel like they’re auctioning off Colton’s virginity to the tallest, blondest bidder? Like, we get it. He’s a hot, football-playing virgin, it’s weird. Kk thanks, next topic please.

5. Sorry to be rude, but there is a shocking abundance of bad eyebrows on these girls. Elyse’s are especially disappointing, seeing that she’s a literal makeup artist for a living. Brows are not on fleek this season.

6. Apparently, it’s acceptable to quite literally JUST makeout on a date. I think Cassie and Colton seriously uttered under a hundred words the few times they managed to come up for air. Kind of ironic for a speech pathologist when you think about it, but I’ve got to admit that they actually seem to have a good connection, lips-locked and otherwise.

7. So this might just be my own half-baked, girls night-fueled theory, but I truly think Heather (you know, the girl whose job title is “Never Been Kissed”), is here for the sole purpose of getting her first kiss. Seriously, the girl did nothing but say the word “like” and stare at his lips for their ENTIRE one-on-one. And what was with the constant extreme close-ups of Colton’s mouth? Weird game you’re playing, ABC.

8. And finally, remember that promo shot of Colton literally running away from the girls and jumping over a fence? We’re still waiting to see exactly what motivates that move, but I’m personally betting it’s because they bring Tia back to get her vengeance for his refusal to DTR during Paradise and all those god-awful sleeveless sweatshirts he insisted on wearing.

Cheers to Bachelor Mondays and here’s to hoping everyone is here for the right reasons!

My name is Meghan and I am very excited to be Colgate's Campus Correspondent! I am a junior at Colgate and a Sociology major. My hometown is Manhattan Beach, California, and Colgate is such an amazing and special place to me (despite getting used to the brutal winters)! I love social media, writing, and photography, and can't wait to share all of the events, trending topics, and news happening at Colgate this coming semester!