10. Learn a new language and become fluent. Practice with the person behind you, and when you arrive at the sandwich station, attempt to order in said language.
9. List backwards alphabetically every human you’ve loved (in every form of the word).
8. Count the tiles on the floor. See if you can create a pattern. Where does the pattern end? Does it ever end? Contemplate life.
7. Work up the courage to text your crush. At the back of the line, open the messaging screen. As you move forward begin drafting it in notes (obviously you wouldn’t want them to see you typing), and send it while you wait for your sandwich to be done toasting.
6. Google most gourmet sandwiches and play a guessing game with yourself of whether or not the ingredients will be at the sandwich bar when you get there.
5. Scroll through every social media feed you have. Twice. Look around the room. Do a squat. Repeat.
4. Facebook friend everyone in the “people you may know” section. Don’t skip anyone. If anyone asks, say you were expanding your horizons and if they press use the old, “my cat ran over my keyboard.”
3. Make new friends. Ask the person in front you what their biggest aspirations are.
2. Create a fake ball with your hands. Put so much pressure on your fingers that they feel like one. Count to 60. Then move them apart slowly and bring them back together. Does it feel like molasses?
1. Leave this damn line. Why are you standing here when you know you only really want those chicken tenders over there.