Whether you’re in the middle of a fling or have been in a committed relationship with a s/o, summer is a tricky time. It’s important to define expectations before you both leave Colby and head home, to work, or abroad. Having been in a long-distance relationship for 7 months (with a 10 hour time difference!), I can say that it is definitely not easy. However, there are definitely ways to make long-distance easier if you decide to stay together!
1. Lay out expectations before summer
It’s important to talk about what you want before the summer. Don’t assume that your partner wants the same things as you. For me, it was important to know how much we were going to text/Facetime, if we were going to be exclusive, about visits, etc. Being on the same page is key, whether it be in person or long-distance! I recommend doing this a few weeks before summer break kicks in.
2. Communication is key!
Ok, so now it is summer and you two established your expectations. You miss them so much! Talk to them about your feelings. Talk to them about your day. Getting a good messaging app if you/they are abroad is a good step (I recommend WhatsApp, but iMessage is fine too). However…
3. …not too much
You are living your own life, and so is your partner. You don’t want to spend your entire summer on your phone! Put down your phone, they will get back to you when they are free. Don’t stress and obsessively check to see if the read receipt came up yet.
4. Little things matter
Sending “good morning” and “good night” texts are one of the most essential things in an LDR. It shows that they are the first and last thing on your mind. Doing little things, like sending snaps of an item that reminds you of them, or just a simple “I miss you,” is very reassuring.
5. Don’t overthink
Ok, I know this is really hard. They haven’t gotten back to you in hours, or they’re spending the Saturday out with friends while you’re at home. And that’s ok! It’s super hard not to get your thoughts carried away and think that they’re forgetting about you, but that’s just your mind talking. Relax, and do your thing. For me, it helped to distract myself by surrounding myself with friends, and focusing on my jobs. I learned that it’s super important to focus on myself. Again, don’t let the relationship consume your life.
6. Do things together
Yes, I know that you’re technically not “together” in person, but there are tons of activities you can do that makes you feel closer to your partner. Some examples: reading the same book and FaceTiming about it, watching movies and sharing the Skype screen so you’re watching “together,” playing an iPhone game (personal favorite: CupPong).
7. Make time for visits
If you can work out logistics and costs, by all means you should make some time to visit each other. Make sure you absolutely know the S/O’s schedule is open too.
Although it’s not super easy, the key is to be on the same page. And when you miss them so much, just know that it’s going to be super rewarding and worth it the next time you see them. Summer should be a stress-free time—and your relationship should be too!