Warning: Spoilers about My Mind & Me Documentary; Mentions of Mental Illness
Gomez has been in the spotlight since she was ten years old, succeeding as a singer and actress. In 2002, Gomez landed her first role in Barney & Friends. In the next four years, she would gain a guest role on Disney’s Suite Life of Zack & Cody, ultimately leading to her iconic role as Alex Russo on Wizards of Waverly Place. Over the years, Gomez worked with Disney for TV shows including Hannah Montana, and movies such as Princess Protection Program. She also starred in Spring Breakers, the Hotel Transylvania series, The Fundamentals of Caring, and Hulu’s Only Murders in the Building series. In her Disney years, Gomez also sang as part of Selena Gomez & The Scene, releasing iconic hits such as “Who Says,” “A Year Without Rain,” and “Love You Like a Love Song.” Gomez has continued to release music after the dispersal of the band, giving us many more hits. On November 4, 2022, Selena Gomez released her documentary My Mind & Me on Apple TV. The documentary has been filmed over the course of six years, beginning with the start of her Revival Tour in 2016.
From the very start of this documentary, you feel Gomez’s pain. After what seems like a strong bit of rehearsal, it cuts to Gomez’s backstage breaking down. She was crying, believing that she may not be good enough, that her manager may feel it was a mistake to sign her, and that the whole tour is a mistake. It seems like a classic sign of anxiety, on a much larger, celebrity scale. Yes, that is part of the case, but this documentary entered Gomez’s story a little deeper, and more personally. She did end up canceling part of the Revival Tour, announcing it would be to focus on her mental and physical health. In 2011, she shared her lupus diagnosis with fans, and most people believed her tour cancellation was related to that. While the documentary does note that her lupus aggravates existing anxiety, Gomez was undergoing much more than that. After attempting to remove her own IVs, Gomez was transported to a psychiatric facility. At that point, after evaluations, she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This is not breaking news, fresh from a documentary, as Gomez chose to share this news with her fans. The documentary did highlight, however, Gomez explicitly wanted to be upfront with the public as to what her diagnosis was. She even said it may make certain people not want to work with her, but that she wouldn’t really want to work with them if that were the case.
My Mind & Me allowed us to gain an insight into Gomez’s life struggles on both a physical and mental level. Many people forget how celebrities can also have debilitating circumstances or tend to minimize those circumstances, solely because of their status and resources. Gomez is only 30 years old, yet in one clip, from her 2019 trip to Africa, she was struggling to open a water bottle from aching joints secondary to lupus. In another clip in more recent times, she was telling her friend how she wakes up crying because of the immense pain she is in, as she is now diagnosed with lupus myositis. Her bipolar diagnosis was a light of understanding for her behavior, but only after she had erratic behavior and breakdowns. Throughout the documentary she often complained of stomach pain, which her team dubbed as “nerves,” and she was seen hopping up and running out of meetings.
At the end of the day, Gomez urges that she wants to be an individual. The majority of her stardom life has been connected to an ex or to companies like Disney, which she showed disdain for at one point in the documentary. While she shows gratitude for her job, she also shows great authenticity, which people don’t often see in celebrity figures. She not only showed disdain for Disney but explained how much she dislikes promos, as they all feel “fake” and the interviewers don’t even care about what she is saying. She mentioned in a press tour that while she plans to do music and acting for a while, she would like to dedicate her life to philanthropy. She has already started doing so, with her Rare Impact Fund. The Rare Impact Fund was created by Gomez in 2020 to create access to free mental health resources. Gomez’s documentary also highlighted her week-long trip to Kenya to visit a primary school and college. She is also a long-time member of UNICEF. She has also released a new song with an analogous name to the documentary. She has been teasing new music for a long time, and this could not have been better. Selena Gomez is an icon and a role model for young women, as she shows that it is okay to be a little broken at times, so long as you don’t give up or let it stop you.
Author’s Note:
My personal favorite quote comes from the end of the film, from what appears to be journal entries from Gomez. Her voiceover read:
“I’m at peace. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m confident. I’m full of doubt. I’m a work in progress. I am enough. I am Selena.”
I picked this quote because it shows the raw emotions that come with most forms of mental illness, including depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. However, despite the emotions she felt, she did not belittle herself or make herself less than. She is still Selena.
It is not uncommon to battle conflicting emotions with yourself, but when it is constant, weighs you down, or impacts your day-to-day life, it is encouraged to seek help.The Crisis Hotline is available 24/7 for a multitude of issues and concerns, as well as various forms of communication.