TW: mentions diet culture and alcohol
The holidays, memories, and family tend to activate something within us. For some individuals, this season is not all gingerbread houses and happiness, but could trigger a sense of anger or aloneness. Maybe it was an awful memory that took place during the season, a conflict with family members, or having to spend the season alone, but no matter what you are not alone in how you’re feeling, and you are in control of how you feel.
Comments: When it comes to comments that may feel too personal made by family and friends about topics you may not be completely ready to openly talk about such as physical appearance, lifestyle choice, relationship status, etc. we as humans tend to immediately react by emotion and close ourselves off. Instead of shutting down and locking everyone, try taking a moment to remember and trust that your life journey no matter what it may look like at this current moment is yours. Therefore while having the approval and validation of your life from family and friends may be nice, it is not necessary to keep moving forward with yourself.
Family Conflict: With the topic of family conflict, many different situations may occur. Maybe your family doesn’t fully “accept” you or a potential partner you bring home or vice versa in that your partner’s family doesn’t accept and receive you openly. No matter the situation it is important to remember to truly ground yourself before going into the situation and have confidence in yourself and your choices before hearing feedback whether that feedback be welcomed or not. Another useful tip to keep in the back of your mind during this season is to try not to parent or control others. Every person most likely will react differently to responses, however, it is important to remember that having a voice that does not equate to trying to control others.
Diet Culture and Drinking: Another aspect of the holidays that can be damaging and result in self-destructiveness is the diet culture that surrounds this time of year. Whether it’s a “turkey burn” 5k or a holiday fitness challenge, know that you do not have to burn off anything you eat. Time with loved ones during the holidays can often revolve around food, but just eat the pie and enjoy the time you have with them. Drinking is also a big topic during the holidays as it can be used as a numbing technique, especially if there is a type of conflict at home. If you are someone who struggles with over-drinking during the holidays as a form of numbing, try setting a limit on the number of drinks you may have and stick to it. Additionally grounding yourself as stated previously in this article and self-love and can be incredibly beneficial.
Aloneness: It can feel really hard when you cannot physically be around loved ones or may feel alone even with their company especially with the current COVID-19 pandemic going on. Though it may sound cliche, no matter the circumstances you are truly never alone as there are people who feel the same way. If you cannot physically be with family, we luckily live in a day of age where technology can be used to our advantage and video calls with loved ones are a great way to feel connected even with the physical distance. Additionally, it is okay to be alone for the holidays. Not everyone needs to surround themselves with others and in fact, you may be better off sometimes taking a second away from everyone and taking the time to refresh yourself. Lastly, it is important to be aware the dealing with the grief of a possible family or friend’s death can easily be heightened during the holiday season. So be gentle and kind not only with yourself but also with others as you truly never know what a stranger may be going through.