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Unconventional Grieving

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CNU chapter.

Unconventional Grieving

Five Ways to Cope with Loss or Turmoil in the New Age

Background: On September 19, 2015, I lost an amazing friend suddenly. I think about him and his girlfriend (my best friend) every day. Here are some ways I have been able to cope with his loss and still think about his amazing impact on my life.

1. Meditation

I am not a deeply religious person and I felt that maybe, if I was, I would be able to connect more easily with my friend. He himself had mentioned meditation to me while he was alive. He was the calmest person I knew and meditated almost every day. I was never sure how to start. The idea of meditation can be daunting. I started buying books and looking online, but sitting in my room with the lights off and my eyes closed didn’t work for me. A good way to start meditating is using guided meditations. You can find them on YouTube with times ranging from 10 minutes to an hour or more. Meditation is easiest when you create your own space. Make yourself comfortable and just relax your body and mind. Afterwards, you will feel rested, relaxed and connected.

2. Art

My friend was an extremely artistic person and art is an amazing way to express yourself. Write a poem, paint a picture, sculpt something. All of these are ways to get what is in your head out into the real world where you can see it. After you create your work of art, you will have something to remind you of them that you created yourself. It is a therapeutic and connecting experience.

3. Letters

 
I have written many letters to my friend since he passed. I feel as though he can still read them even though he is not here. After writing my letters, I would burn them. This rising smoke brings the words into the atmosphere where I believe he is.  
 
4. Talk

This is something everyone and their mother will tell you when dealing with a loss. Talking to someone lets you feel less alone in the world. Talk to people who knew the person who passed away. You can compare stories and ideas and it will feel as though they are still with you. Talk to people who never met your friend/relative/etc. and verbalize how amazing they were to you. Share their story with the world. Talk to a therapist if you are financially able and it feels right. Some people do not agree with therapy, but if you are on the fence about it, look into it. Licensed professionals know what you’re going through and how to help you.

5. Explore Their Interests

 
Learn what you can about this person. Try doing things they liked to connect with them; you may even discover a new hobby for yourself. Go to art museums, listen to music they liked, read books of theirs, spread a message they believed in. When I experienced the loss of my friend, I felt guilty enjoying the world around me when he could not. Know your friend wants what is best for you and the last thing they want to see, from wherever they are, is a person they loved not taking advantage of every opportunity around them.
Morgan is an 18 year old Freshman at Christopher Newport University. She is majoring in social work with a minor in art history. She is interested in queer and feminist issues as well as whatever the newest art exhibit is at the local museum. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @xmorgzx