In recent years, the phrase “girls supporting girls” has been all over the internet, encouraging feminism and support from women around the globe. However, it is evident that this ideal is easier said than done. There has been constant critique of women who are deemed “pick-me girls,” as well as critiques of the trending “clean girl aesthetic,” for being basic – some even going as far to call the girls abiding by the trend “copy and paste.” This lead to backlash targeted at alternative communities for also being “copy and paste,” just in a different way.
Feminism is a complex movement, involving internalized societal pressure and subject to thousands of misinterpretations. Valentine’s Day is a strange day for feminists everywhere, there is a heavy emphasis on romance, but feminists want independence; what people seem to neglect in this situation is that those things are not mutually exclusive, and at it’s core, feminism is about choice.
the Heart of anti-valentine’s
Feminist’s arguments against Valentine’s Day claim that it is an outdated holiday rooted in patriarchy. The holiday perpetuates highly gendered stereotypes; boyfriends are supposed to buy their girlfriends flowers, pick them up, and pay for their dinner. Working and driving are two things that women fought for the right to be able to do, however in modern times, anyone can tap their card and complete a transaction.
The anti-valentine’s movement criticizes traditions that are typically perceived as romantic, believing that they are rooted in gender roles that should be defied in a modern society. Extreme feminists boycott anything V-Day related, hoping to eradicate the problem they believe to problematic and outdated.
the pro-valentine’s prose
While women across the world can admit that Valentine’s Day is somewhat old fashioned, that does not inherently make it anti-feminist. Firstly, a criticism of the anti-valentine’s day argument is it is exclusionary; for the holiday to be anti-feminist, a power imbalance has to exist between a man and woman, meaning this argument does account for any relationships that aren’t heteronormative. Furthermore, telling women what they should do with their own lives directly violates the concept of choice that is so central to the feminist movement.
what’s a girl to do?
Valentine’s Day does not actively contribute to the discrimination women face in modern society. However, the discourse between whether or not feminists should celebrate has led to more conflict than progress. Some women claim that those who opt out of V-Day festivities are “immature” or “jealous.” While those who abstain criticize the women who do participate by calling them “bad feminists.”
More than anything, it is important that women in this world stick together. Valentine’s Day is a day to spend with people you love, and romance is just one component of all the love that exists in this world. Life is short, and while it is important that women stick up for their rights in society, there is nothing wrong with girls wanting bouquets.