Spoiler alert: nobody possesses the inherent ability to determine what makes a woman a woman. However, ever since I was young, I knew that there were certain expectations that women, myself included, were expected to adhere to.
Throughout history, the basis of how women ought to behave or think has been shaped by cultural norms; such expectations are not explicitly written, but they undoubtedly affect everyday life in a multitude of ways. From childhood to adulthood, women are faced with messages pertaining to appearance, personality, career paths, and even relationships that define what society considers to be the “Ideal woman.” It has been well established that society has been pushing these expectations onto women for years, but… why? Where exactly do these expectations come from, and why do some people perceive any deviation from “the norm” as something threatening or unnatural? The answer lies in how culture shapes behavior and perception through concepts like socialization, stereotypes, as well as media representations.
Socialization
People aren’t born with a predetermined set of values or beliefs. Rather, individuals grow into particular mindsets over the course of their life. Most of the seeds for a specific mindset are planted in childhood, as children are the most influenced by their surroundings and the people around them. This is a process called socialization: children observe the behaviors of the adults around them and take in cues about gender roles through family interactions, school environments, and even the way in which men and women are portrayed in movies and cartoons. This is where our sense of what is “normal” is derived from.
When I was younger, it hadn’t occurred to me that other girls my age could not be interested in things like dolls, makeup, nails, you name it. Really, I’d assumed those interests were an innate part of being a girl. A normal part, even. Looking back, that belief had been something I was merely taught. In reality, many girls and women have interests outside of what society considers “girly” or “feminine,” such as sports, video games, science, or virtually anything else. And these things are, honestly, what align more closely with my interests today. I can safely say that I’m more comfortable in my own skin just knowing that, and I’m grateful that I have the ability to express such interests with no judgment.
stereotypes
This ties in closely with the previous section on socialization, but I want to specifically talk about two psychological concepts that I believe are worth mentioning when discussing gender stereotypes: gender schema theory and stereotype threat.
Gender schema theory, proposed by psychologist Sandra Bem, suggests that people develop mental frameworks to help them organize information about gender (which is a social construct itself and separate from biological sex). These mental frameworks are called schemas and allow individuals to categorize behaviors and interests as what they perceive to be either “masculine” or “feminine.” Culture plays a significant role in giving these schemas meaning: for instance, traits like leadership and technical ability are often associated with men rather than women. Women are more likely to be associated with traits like empathy and nurturing. These schemas often go hand-in-hand with implicit bias, which refers to our unconscious way of perceiving certain groups of people.
Of course, times are constantly changing. As a woman who is a neuroscience major and on the pre-med track, I know full well that I am headed down a path that has been dominated by men for years. It was only up until recently that statistics began to show that more women were beginning to apply for medical school. However, despite this, gender stereotypes are very much still prevalent. This remains true for women in STEM fields, just to list one example. This is where the concept of stereotype threat becomes relevant.
Stereotype threat is a term introduced by Claude Steele, a social psychologist. Essentially, stereotype threat occurs when an individual experiences anxiety because they have the fear of confirming a negative stereotype about their identity group. As previously alluded to, men have historically been associated with STEM careers compared to women. This presents a huge issue for women themselves, particularly if they are brought up in environments that are constantly trying to reinforce such stereotypes; it can cause self-doubt as well as an increase in the pressure to prove those stereotypes wrong. This pressure alone could, ironically, cause underperformance.
media representations
It is no secret that, generally, women in media (such as movies, TV shows, and books) are often portrayed in relatively narrow roles. They are frequently depicted as caregivers, romantic interests, symbols of beauty, the damsel in distress, etc. Male characters, on the other hand, are more commonly shown as “the hero,” aligning more with positions of leadership and action. That is not to say there isn’t some movie, show, or comic out there that depicts men and women in a different fashion, but repeated exposure to media that do reinforce these gender stereotypes reinforce traditional cultural assumptions about what women are supposed to value or prioritize in their lives.
Social media platforms such as Instagram and TikTok are a whole other beast entirely; just the simple act of opening one of these apps on your phone can lead you down a rabbit hole of videos reinforcing unrealistic beauty standards. Many young women are exposed to this sort of content daily, including myself. Whether unintentional or not, this kind of repeated exposure can also reinforce the idea that women must meet certain standards or expectations in order to be accepted.
However, social media and the media in general holds an immense amount of potential to reshape these cultural expectations. This is why representation in media is so important: there is no single “correct” way to demonstrate what it is like to be a woman. When audiences, particularly young ones, see women portrayed as scientists, athletes, engineers, or leaders, it expands the range of possibilities associated with femininity. Essentially, one’s schema wouldn’t be so limited.
in conclusion…
While it seems that our society and all sorts of cultures seem to have their own narrow definition of what makes a woman a woman, the truth is that these perceptions do not—and should not—dictate what a woman should be. The only one who gets to decide what it means to be a woman is the woman herself.