To the girl hurt by sexual assault,
I know this isn’t what you wanted. I know because I was there. I know the pain you felt when it was over, the hollow feeling of being used and left behind. I know the nights you cried yourself to sleep, checking your phone desperately for something to distract you from how you felt. I know how you craved for someone to love you, for someone to genuinely care about you. I know you chased after people who you knew would never care about you. I know you made decisions to help you forget. At the end of it all, your thoughts came back. And you were left with them.
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You are not to blame. No matter how often that voice inside your head tells you that you shouldn’t have gone there. You shouldn’t have let yourself be alone with him/her. You should have screamed. You should have hit him/her. You are not to blame. The blame rests solely on the person that did this to you.
You are not alone. Your friends and your family care about you. They might not know why you’re hurting, but they see your pain. And they want to help you. Let them. You don’t have to tell them why you feel the way you feel, but let them help with the pain. The nicotine and alcohol run dry. The love that your family feels for you is enduring.
You are not defined by your body. You hear people around you say that once it’s gone, it’s gone. You hear them say that once you reach a certain number, you’re no longer desirable. You are worth so much more than a number, than your body. You’ve accomplished so much and have so much more left to accomplish.
You have a right to feel upset when people touch your body unexpectedly. The thought of another person touching your body without your permission is revolting, sometimes infuriating. A passerby will brush against you, and you’ll be overcome with anger. And that’s okay too, it willl pass.
You are capable of being loved and loving. I know it’s hard for you to let people in. I know that you’re scared to let them too close. You’re scared they won’t like you once they know what’s happened, or that they’ll hurt you too. It takes time, but I know you will find people that will not violate your trust. You will be able to let them in and they will give you the love and respect you deserve.
You are stronger than you think. You’ve made it this far. You’ve done the hard work. We stand with you.
Another Survivor
*If you would like to add your name and stand with us to help protect others, you can find the petition to the CNU administration here.