The early part of flirting is always weird. You’re not friends, and you’re trying to get with her. If you’re flirting with a girl under the premise that you’re both single and interested in each other, these are phrases you should never say when hitting on her.
1. You’re not my type.
Then why are we talking?
2. Don’t fall in love with me.
Oh, I definitely won’t.
3. You looked better before…
Come again? So you’re saying that I look bad now? Nice.
4. You have a nice (insert body part here) but your (insert other body part here) could use some work.
Are you complimenting me or insulting me? I can’t figure out how to respond.
5. Can you get me groceries?
I’m not your mother, and I’m not your Postmate. Get your own groceries.
6. You’re okay.
Okay? I’m just okay? Not good, not bad, just okay? What does that even mean? Am I average or below average? What are you even referring to? My personality? My appearance? I can’t even process this.
7. My car is broken, can you pick me up?
Again, I’m not your mom. Or Uber. And you’re a full adult. I’m not going to chauffeur you.
8. I have a girlfriend, but…
End of conversation.
9. Don’t lift so much; you don’t wanna get big.
And I care why? I don’t remember asking for an opinion on how my body looks or how I workout.
10. I want to drug you.
What?!? NO.