Welcome back, Captains! Your virgin next door here. My break was full of fun and I have been getting back into the groove these past couple weeks. Still no successes in the love department, but I have some hilarious stories to share! I’m going to start with some stories and then a personal rant I think every girl wants every guy to hear. Â
Recently, a random guy friended me on Facebook. We had one mutual friend – a cousin of mine – and I thought this was the new guy she was seeing. I accepted the request and about a month later I get one of those lovely, creative messages: “hey there.” Obviously not the new guy my cousin was seeing. Naturally, I didn’t respond, and a couple of days later he types: “damn, no response?” Um, yeah, that is just what happened. So not only are you messaging some random girl, but you are going to double message? Apparently it was not obvious I was disinterested.
One of my good friends recently had an encounter like this as well, but it involved everyone’s favorite thing: Tinder. That is one social media app that I refuse to use, but love to hear about. About a year ago, she got a friend request on Facebook and follow request on Instagram from a guy and he even POKED her. I thought that went out of style in 8th grade, but I digress. Nothing ever came of it and then, about a month ago, they matched on Tinder. The conversation that happened was as follows:
CNU Male: Hey again!
CNU Female: Again?
CNU Male: I think we met like three years ago and I see you walking around campus all the time.
WHAT? I mean, what a creeper right? Even if you remember that, you surely don’t say it. Regardless of this tragic opening and her friends’ warnings, she went out with the guy anyway. Let’s just say it didn’t go too well after the second date. Another reason to not use Tinder, but I’ll save that rant for another time.
I’m sorry, but since when did social media messaging become the acceptable route to express your interest in someone? As a woman, I can’t tell you how many times random guys have messaged me and said the most generic, uncreative pick-up lines like “hey there” or “what’s up.” You could at least be a little more creative and ask me what kind of cheese I like. If you are looking for a relationship, I don’t want to tell my grandchildren that we met on social media. If you just want to hook up, well that’s what Tinder is for.
Chances are that the reason that guys do this is because they have gotten some sort of result from it before. I’m sure some lucky duo met this way and it has worked out in their favor, but I’m not giving any guy the time of day that can’t talk to me in person. I mean, if we go to the same school or have seen each other out, you can come up and talk to me. If we have never met each other in person, then save that pick-up line for Tinder. The only time, and I repeat, THE ONLY TIME, you can message me is to ask for my number, because you met me once and don’t see me on a daily basis to ask. Guys: It is TEN TIMES sexier for you to come up to me and start a conversation. Even if I say no to going out with you, I will appreciate the fact that you made that effort and will probably want to be friends with you.
So ladies, know what you are worth and don’t reply to those messages if you believe you deserve better. Men, I can’t stress enough how unsexy it is to message me on social media when we haven’t met, or worse, when we have met and you can’t ask me out in person. I hope this sheds some light on what at least some women think about pick-up messaging and how we can improve the millenial dating life at CNU.Â
Yours Truly,Â
The Virgin Next Door