Dear My Guy BFFs…

I always say that girls should come to college to find their bridesmaids and not necessarily their grooms. While I still stand by that statement and love my girl friends more than life itself, I started realizing that I wouldn’t be the person I am without my guy friends both from home and here at Carnegie Mellon.

Now we all heard of the common statement that guys and girls can’t be just friends. Time again and again has proven that to not be true. There are a lot of very healthy benefits to a guy-girl best friend dynamic. For all our guy friends out there, no matter if we are extremely close or just good friends, here’s a little note to you from your female friends:

Thank you for always being honest with us. Let’s be real. Not all of our friends are willing to tell us outfit makes us look two sizes bigger or that we need to go easier on the eyeliner. But if we ask you for your opinion on anything from our dresses for crush party to whether or not the guy we hooked up with last weekend was cute enough, we never have to worry that you’re lying just to spare our feelings. If we are being dramatic, over analyzing situations, or acting like a straight up b*tch, we can trust you will be the first ones to tell us to shut up and snap out of it.

Thank you for being good listeners. Naturally, males and females have different viewpoints. When we are constantly surrounded by our girl friends and their thousand and one opinions, we tend to lose sight of what we want and what we actually believe. On the other hand, you guys truly listen in to what we are saying and give us one solid perspective to consider. Usually, that one opinion helps us tremendously more than the thousand and one because it addresses our problems head-on. It keeps us grounded and in-check with ourselves, our needs, and our desires.

Thank you for broadening our horizons. I don’t remember the last time my girl friends really pushed me out of the confines of my comfort zone. And no, forcing me to talk to that cute frat boy doesn’t count. But you guys are adventurous, daring, and spontaneous. You know how to have fun on the fly without having to plan a night out and matching outfits. You don’t hesitate joining us at a dive bar and drunkenly scream at the opposing team on the TV screens. You dare us to do something insane like climb a large statue and pose on top for a picture, or set off firecrackers off the roof of academic buildings. If there’s a rocky hill with a good view at the top, you will challenge us to quit being such “girls” and climb it with you. And even if we slip, you’ll catch us before we fall. You make us feel alive and teach us that there is more to life outside the walls of a nightclub, frat house, or our screens.  

Thank you for always caring about us. I’m not just talking about buying us birthday shots or holding our hair back when it’s one of those nights. I’m talking about checking in every now and then to make sure we are ok or just to say hi. Or trying to cheer us up when you know we had a rough week. Or wingman-ning us when we’re tryna ;). Or protecting us when there is an immediate threat present. Sometimes all it takes is one look at the expression on our faces for you to pull us aside and know that something is bothering us. That alone means the world to us.

Lastly, thank you for not always understanding us but always accepting us. We are complex creatures. I don’t even understand my own species all the time. We can be so difficult and complicated to deal with. We can think in ways that make you question our sanity. Sometimes we get mad at you for the pettiest things and we refuse to admit we’re wrong. But at the end of the day we know that if someone was to say “Dude, that chick is crazy!” you would laugh it off and agree, but love us and our crazy regardless because you don’t judge and you don’t put conditions on our friendships.

To my guy friends both at home and here at CMU, you know who you are. If I’ve never said thank you for everything you’ve done for me, I hope you now know I wouldn’t trade you guys for anything in the world. You are all the brothers I never had and always wanted. Unfortunately, most of you probably won’t let me put you in pretty bridesmaid dresses one day, but we’ll work something out.

Happy Thanksgiving, Lady Tartans!