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CMU Goggles: The Hard Truth About Dating at Carnegie Mellon

If you’re a student at Carnegie Mellon University, you’ve heard of them. If you’re a freshman and are unfamiliar with this unfortunate term—God bless, your little virgin eyes. But trust me, young Padawan; soon your vision will be obscured just like the rest of ours.

CMU goggles are metaphorical optical lenses so thick that they blur your vision whenever you look over at that smokin’ hot CS major that’s been playing WOW for the past 9.25 hours. Yeah, it can get that bad. Think “drunk” goggles but you’re actually completely sober.

Since coming to Carnegie Mellon, you may have heard the phrase, “the odds are good, but the goods are odd.” The fact is, when you go to a prestigious college renowned for its top-rated academics, you aren’t likely to find many young adults that are concerned with the latest fall fashions—or even if their top-buttoned polos match their awkwardly-fitted khakis. Also not a big concern: showering. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing (except for the showering part— showering prevents death by nose bleed); looks are not everything and they certainly cannot guarantee you a significant other that knows how to treat you properly. However, don’t be surprised when your eye doctor jacks up your prescription to counteract the deceptive mind tricks your brain plays to cope with “lack of attractive men” syndrome.

Maybe the truth is, CMU goggles or not, you just can’t seem to find Prince Charming. And that’s not an unreasonable disappointment, considering the general expectation is that, in college, you’ll have a lot more “options”—so finding a guy shouldn’t be an issue. Well, guess who’s scoping out that guy that’s worn the same polo shirt every day for a week and considers a trip to Skibo a “date.”

Perhaps it’s time for a slight change in perspective—and I’m not talking about through the goggles. Being single isn’t and shouldn’t be considered an “issue.” It can be frustrating when you can’t seem to find that perfect date, but there is simply nothing wrong with going solo for a while. There is no one out there who will tell you that you need to lower your standards in order to find someone that’s a good fit for you. And in all honesty, if you’re under the impression that you need to be with someone to be happy, that is a great indicator that you’re not ready to go headfirst into a relationship.

Regardless of where you go to school and the stereotypes of its students, your own mentality controls what you think you “need” and the proper methods of obtaining it. Stop drooling over random guys for the sake of exercising your drooling glands. You’re better off watching a Ryan Gosling movie anyway.

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