The day has finally arrived. The last of the humid summer heat lingers around us as we grudgingly lug our heavy backpacks up these hilly paths of CMU to our classes. Summer is over. Syllabus week is over. School has begun again.
Every time a new school year rolls around, I find myself developing new goals and reflecting on the past years. My middle school years consisted of feeling backstabbed and used by so-called friends, causing me to maintain a very surface level friendship with everyone when I got to high school. So coming to college, a place where I wanted to develop into a better version of myself and diversify my knowledge, interests, and skill set, I yearned for a fresh start. Unfortunately, it led to me becoming very unstable, lost, overly zealous, and tremendously daring. From orientation week to the end of my freshman summer, my mental and emotional well-being was constantly riding a rollercoaster that reached both heaven and hell. The people I crossed paths with built me up but also bulldozed me right back down. But strangely, I didn’t find myself holding grudges against those who hurt me as I reflected back. I didn’t even obsessively analyze situations to figure out how things could have been done differently. Instead, I found myself accepting all events, euphoric or nightmarish, and being surprisingly comfortable with it all. I grew to love every memory I had because I discovered that every person I meet is either a blessing or a lesson in my life.
The people we are surrounded by influence us the most. They can sway our mood, boost or destroy our confidence, and make us love or hate ourselves. Those who we love dearly and cannot see ourselves without are our blessings. They bring us joy, laughter, good tears, and unconditional support. They accept us, our demons and all, without hesitation. Those who use words or actions to tear us apart, make us feel guilty for being true to our own characters, and leave us feeling disgusted with ourselves for absolutely no reason are not. The only blessings they will bring in your life are valuable lessons that teach you to be wiser in who you choose to be your company.
I have finally found a comfortable place where I am not only at peace but very satisfied with where I am heading. Not only am I able to focus on my goals, I’m much happier and accepting of myself. I don’t let anger and hurt consume me anymore. If someone stabs me in the back, so be it. The quicker I learn my lesson from, the faster I can move past it all. Don’t waste your time and energy on those who will not do the same for you, because if you do, you’re letting them control your happiness. Take the time you would have devoted to being depressed over people who have no place or significance in your life and put it towards developing stronger bonds with those who do. But most importantly, don’t regret your experiences with them. No matter how bad they were, the lessons you learn are forever priceless because they will prevent you from sorrow in the future.
Happy new school year, Tartans! May the next part of your journey flourish with many, many blessings.