Wait, People Don't Date?

I can’t help but point out that the word date is almost non-existent on campus. Why is it going extinct in Claremont vocabulary? Is it the hookup culture? Are guys afraid of rejection, or are going on dates too old fashioned for this generation? So many questions, yet so few answers. All that is left are girls hopelessly waiting for guys to sweep them off their feet and take them to their fairytale love story. Hate to break it to you girls, but CMC boys tend to not believe in these fantasies. Date? Pshh, they’d rather be watching ESPN at the Hub or hiding under Ducey bleachers before they take any girl out.

It begs the question though, are guys so afraid to ask a girl on a date because of the notorious hookup culture? Everyone knows that finding couples at CMC is a rare sighting because of the well-established idea that hookup buddies or one time hook-ups are the way to go. I’m not asking for guys to take girl’s on romantic walks on the beach or a hot air-balloon ride. Just ONE meal. One meal wouldn’t kill anyone, but because of this delusion guys have set in stone that taking a girl to dinner means you are basically in a relationship with her. Guys would prefer hanging out in dorm rooms, the library, or meeting up before TNR. It is much more casual and they can hookup whenever. Once he asks her to dinner, people think “wow, things are getting serious.” It is silly because we are losing the prime years of dating because the boys refuse to leave their comfort zone.

Then are guys also afraid of getting rejected? There are plenty of guys who admit to me that asking a girl on a date is intimidating. No one wants to get rejected and alternatively, asking to hang is a far more easy-going term. It is very vague and leaves a lot less room for a girl to turn him down.

Is it too old fashioned? I like to think not. It’s just a couple of hours of one on one time in a different setting from campus. It is an escape for just you and your guy to have dinner, go catch the latest flick, go on a hike, or any other creative ideas. People still go on dates, probably a lot less than 20 years ago in college, but they still exist. Before it goes completely nonexistent at CMC, I think we can slowly nudge our way to get them to ask us on dates. It is unfair that we aren’t experiencing dating because our guys are flat out cowards when it comes to relationship building. However, with some of these tips, just watch how you’ll slowly be defying the odds:

  • Give him subtle clues to let him know you’re interested. Don’t make yourself too available, but throw out hints like “I really enjoying hanging with you” so you can boost his confidence and confirm that you are into him. This makes him feel more comfortable that he won’t get rejected if he asked you out.
  • Be deceitful with your words. Although you’re tempted to just say, “We always hang out, take me on a real date already!” Most guys would freak out at CMC and think you just asked to legitimately date him. Again, being crafty with your words can completely trick his way into asking you to dinner. Rephrase your statement and say, “I tried this amazing burger place in the village. We have to go sometimes, the Bacon burger is to die for!” He’d completely agree because that sounds SO harmless, just trying a good burger. Little did he know that he just agreed to take you on a date.
  • Take initiative. Just because it is more old fashioned for the guy to ask a girl out, we live in a completely different generation and in 2012 there are no rules. If you really want to go to the movies, then say, “I really want to see Project X Friday night, want to join?”
  • Be Yourself. Don’t ever change your personality for any guy because they can tell when you are faking. They love girls who can just sit back and enjoy anything thrown at them and when you make guys feel uncomfortable by putting on an act, they run away.

The common theme guys abide by is casualness at CMC. Everything about our culture here screams easy-going, so it comes as no surprise that the dating culture also falls under the same category. Guys tend to freak out if things seem serious and would rather a girl keep calm and not come off too strong. Dating can be brought to life at CMC if girls are able to “casually” bring it up and take charge.