“College is the best time of your life!”
“You are finally free from your parents’ rule.”
“The parties are lit!”
I heard all these things before arriving on campus by friends and social media. I expected college to be full of stress-free afternoons hanging out with my new friends in my cute Pinterest-inspired dorm room. In reality, I sit in my dorm room – alone – on my giant bean bag and read for HOURS, hoping I am reading just enough to get ahead while still feeling crazy behind.
College is hard. Yes, it is WAY better than high school and living at home, but it is still all blood (from falling while walking up the stairs to class), sweat (from walking to class in 110-degree weather) and tears (from crying about the 5 tests and 3 papers due in one week). You might think you are ready, which in some ways you are, but you are in a strange environment, rooming with someone you barely know in a shoebox size room, and away from your family and most importantly – your dog. It is hard to do this ‘adult’ thing: planning healthy meals to avoid becoming a beached whale, when to do homework, and time for fun social interactions other than watching Netflix in a blanket on your giant bean bag.
Life. Is. Hard. And this is just the beginning of it.
I am telling you, you got this. You are actually better off than you think. You have already picked a college that would best suit your needs and desires. You moved in and are surviving on your own. That was the hardest part. You are now on this beautiful campus with all sorts of new possibilities and adventures. The world is yours now, so go dance all over it. Don’t give up.
If you don’t learn anything from this, learn this one thing: it does get better. Even at your darkest, saddest moments on campus, you will overcome. Even when you feel all alone, you will always have someone to talk to. But in reality, EVERYONE is feeling the same way. So get off your giant bean bag chair, get some ice cream, and treat yourself, girl, because you are officially surviving college.
Here are some tips I learned by myself after arriving on campus (that you won’t learn from Pinterest):
1. Everyone is Smart Enough to be Here:
We all had to apply to get into college. We all waited by our mailboxes when we heard they sent out the next group of acceptance letters, hoping we get that pretty envelope that we can post on Instagram. YOU DESERVE TO BE HERE. Maybe the college you are at is your dream school. Maybe it was your backup school. Either way, you choose this school, and you are meant to be here for some reason that isn’t clear. You worked so hard to go to a college where you can work even harder. The acceptance for the college I attend is extremely competitive. If you got straight in, you are very intelligent. What surprised me about college was everyone in class wants to learn just like me. When a professor enters a room, everyone becomes silent. Coming from a low-income high school, my high school education wasn’t the greatest. College has actually challenged me to learn on my level of learning.
2. Get Involved in Stuff YOU Like:
I learned this the hard way. Yes, we all want to do stuff with our friends, so we don’t want to be all alone. However, you might not be interested in what your friend wants to do. Think about it: if your friends were to jump off a cliff, would you do it? I know what you are thinking: “Really, Samantha. That’s totally something my Mom would say” but it is so true. If you don’t want to join a club about learning how to juggle when your bestie is doing it, DON’T JOIN. It just adds so much more unneeded stress and can overload your schedule. Step out of your comfort zone and go do something by yourself. Who knows, you might meet someone new and then you are no longer all alone. Remember you are ultimately at college to go to class, learn, and one day graduate. You also need time for yourself.
For instance, I LOVE yoga and working out. My roommates hate working out. So instead of forcing them to go, I go by myself. It is the time I like to call taking a “Break from Life.” I get my life refocused and can to reaffirm goals all while releasing stress and doing things I like to do. This has been critical to my college success.
3. Ice Cream is the Healer of Everything Broken:
Ladies, we all get that time of the month where we just want to be on the couch and eat a gallon of ice cream all by ourselves. Ice cream fixes everything. If I have a stressful day, my friends know what I will be doing: eating two Venti size cups of vanilla soft serve ice cream with all the toppings I can get my hand on with no regrets until later when I remember I am lactose intolerant. Stressful days are my favorite days. Why? Because I get to eat all my favorite foods. Like my great friend, Tom Haverford, would tell me “Treat yo’ self.” I give myself the rest of the day to pity myself. I eat and watch my favorite shows then I begin to feel better. My point is: you are going to have bad days. You are going to want to quit and walk away. But guess what? You got your one bad day this week out of the way, so now you can make the most of the rest of the week. So ‘treat yo self’ and allow yourself to feel sad for the bad day and move on.
4. Do Not Procrastinate:
Yes, this is on Pinterest, but it cannot be stressed enough. I was one of those people who waited until the last minute to do any homework. In college, you cannot do that. If you can, I applaud you and strive to be you one day. You have, on average, 7 classes where each demands the same work ethic as the one before it. If you put too much stuff off, then you can drown in papers. Soon, you will be pulling all-nighters with 5 cups of coffee in your system (side note, get sleep. Everything looks better in the morning). I had to teach myself how to prioritize. What works for me is to split reading up all the way up to the due date. For instance, if I have 15 pages to read in 3 days, I just read 5 pages a day. It is less overwhelming, and I also have more free time in the long run.
5. Start Your Own Adventure:
I don’t know about you all, but I have strict parents. I got to college, and I realized that I WAS FREE. I could stay out as late as I want. I can go to the lake with friends and not ask for permission. I could even have ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I dreamed of the day where I would be on my own. When my parents said their goodbyes and closed my dorm room door, I was a mess.
“Wait, Now what?”
For the first week of school, freedom had never felt so much like a prison in my life. I was crazy homesick, but I didn’t let it stop me. I pushed through it and remembered an important fact: crying is okay. If you feel this way at some point (you WILL get homesick), here is what you do: go explore. Go explore campus, but STAY ON CAMPUS. I promised myself I wouldn’t leave campus for 2 weeks and I wouldn’t visit home until my birthday (about 6 weeks later). It was one of the best decisions I made. There is so much to do and so many people to meet. Go write a story for yourself. Don’t forget to call back home every once in a while, though, especially when you have younger siblings. I made the mistake of not calling my sister one day and she Facetimed me every day for 2 weeks straight. They miss you and care about you so much.
All in all, I love college… now. I love my life-long friends I have made. I love the challenge. I love Clemson University. It was my 3rd pick when it came to colleges, but it is now MY home. You got this. Don’t give up just yet. Everyone is in your shoes. Find some good friends, stick with them, and go have some fun. I wish someone would have told me these things before I went off to college. College is full of unexpected stories and lots and lots of laughs. It isn’t all about the parties or football games. It’s about doing things you like. So, go start your life. Make mistakes. And go make an impact on this world.
Hang In There. You are STRONG. You are FEARLESS.
XOXO
Samantha Galloway