Every Clarkie knows the infamous Sigmund Freud, taking his stance at the one and only Red Square. Today we stopped by his beloved perch to get some insight from what’s been seen by the university’s oldest Clarkie.
What is your favorite part about Clark?
The squirrels. I love it when they climb all over me and sit on my shoulder.
What is the strangest thing you’ve witnessed in Red Square?
There are many strange things that happen in Red Square, many of which I cannot speak of, but the most unusual is when first-year party-goers (drunk Clarkies?) dance on me. Hate to break it to you guys but I’m in a committed relationship with Turtle Boy.
How do you survive the long Worcester winters?
My fellow Clarkies dress me and keep me warm. I do admit Christmas gets a bit lonely.
Speaking of which, you’ve had some pretty interesting fashion choices over the years. Which one was your favorite?
Definitely the coconut bra of 2014. Really made me miss my college days.
How do you feel about not being able to participate in Elephant Thursday?
Still pretty salty about it. You’d think this many years of dedication to the school would have gotten me at least one.
I’ve noticed a lot of campus tours stopping by, what advice do you have for the perspective first-years?
DON’T. STEP. THROUGH. RED. SQUARE. I walked through it and look what happened to me.
Any campus crushes?
I don’t see him around much, but Jonas the Clark Cougar, hmu next time you’re free (don’t tell Turtle Boy).
If you could be relocated anywhere on campus, where would you go and why?
The Zen Garden. I really dig the organic stuff, ya know?
Favorite thing to order at the Bistro?
I always get 4 pizzeritas.
Favorite Spree Day memory?
As great as you kids are now, nothing can top the 90’s.
SPEED ROUND. GO!
Cats or dogs? Squirrels
Hunters or Bean Boots? Bean boots are bae
Spree Day or Gala? Didn’t we just talk about this?
Bagel Brunch or Big Prize Bingo? Both have excellent alliteration, but I gotta go with Big prize bingo.
JSC or Wright? I heard the parties in Wright are rad
Uncle Sam’s or Wings over Worcester? Sam’s the man
Bodo or Dippin? Dippin
Fetty Wap or Bobby Sremmurd? Sorry, I don’t speak Icelandic.
Sox or Pats? Free Dunkin has never killed anyone. Go Pats.