This last Sunday, on November 12th, I turned 21. I still kind of can’t believe that I’m 21 and college ends in one month for me. I have been taking the time to reflect on my life thus far now that I am a real adult (or at least I’m supposed to be). I have grown and changed so much (thank God) in my 21 years. I thought I would share some of that wisdom with you.
1. Boys are not everything
I have always been what you might call boy crazy. I came home on the first day of kindergarten with a “boyfriend” (hi Jeremy if you ever see this). What it took me a long time to figure out is boys are not everything. They are not worth pretending to like Star Wars or changing who you are. There are always going to be guys around and available. Do not feel like you have to be unhappy just to keep one.
2. Know your worth
There have been many times in my life where I have felt sad because of how people were treating me. I stayed in a relationship for months longer than I should have for the sake of keeping the status quo. Once I realized my own self worth and what I truly deserved, I ended it and eventually was a lot happier.
3. Heartbreak is not forever
When I broke up with my fist love and long-term high school boyfriend I felt dead inside. I had no appetite and I just didn’t know what to do without him. My heart ached. However, in time, that ache went away. I moved on and fell in love with someone else. The pain won’t always be there.
4. Best friends are forever
I have known my best friend since we were 5 years old. Even though we aren’t able to see each other very often, we are friends forever. Once you have shared enough with a friend, your love for them will never go away. Don’t take that for granted.
5. Toxic friends are not worth it
I learned a lot about toxic friendship my first year of college. If someone is always negative or dictating your life simply because they’re your “friend” it is not okay. Stay true to yourself and let those people go.
6. Be honest
Honesty is tough, and I’m still working on it. Don’t lie to people about your thoughts, feelings, or happiness. Lying sucks and causes way more trouble than it’s worth.
7. Family is everything
Without my family I would be nothing. They’re unconditional love and support is a lifeline. Don’t take that for granted because you never know when they won’t be there anymore.
8. With make up, less is more
I went through a huge phase my sophomore year of high school with make up. I started watching Youtube tutorials and it was downhill from there. Blue eyeshadow is not a cute look with over dramatic black liner. I have since toned it down.
9. Your mom is always right
As much as I hate to admit it, my mom usually knows what she’s talking about. She told me the blue shadow was a wreck yet I did not listen. Listen to your mom and learn from her previous mistakes.
10. Listen to your body
If you ever have any concerns about your physical, emotional, or mental health, see a doctor. Do not wait around to see if it will get better on it’s own.
11. Wear clothes that feel good
I went through many phases in my life where I bought clothes that I thought would make me cool or fashionable. I never was happy in them. Buy and wear clothes that make you feel good. When you’re comfortable and confident, it will have a positive effect on you.
12. Find your balance
This goes with everything, but especially school for me. There have been times when I have been way to uptight or way to relaxed about my academics and I suffered for it. Find your balance between putting in the work without sacrificing your college experience.
13. Don’t live with regret
If you have done something that you regret, try and rectify it. Don’t let any type of guilt weigh on your chest.
14. Don’t cheat
This goes for boyfriends and schoolwork.
15. Don’t make food an enemy
For a long time I had a very unhealthy and weird relationship with food. You cannot make food an enemy because you need it to survive. Make sure you’re eating enough food and getting enough nutrients to stay healthy.
16. Be genuine
Taking on a new persona or making things up to impress people never works out. Be true to who you are and what you have done and you will foster real connections with people.
17. Drink responsibly
Drinking too much because you can is a terrible idea. You can get seriously sick. Be smart when you drink and never drink and drive.
18. Let it go
I am the kind of person that likes to hold a grudge. That’s a really bad habit to get into. Let the past go do you can move forward with your future.
19. Own up to it
If you had embarrassing blue hair in middle school or even bullied someone, don’t try to hide it. Own up to your past, the good and the bad. You are not your past.
20. Saving money is cool
I used to be mortified by my mom’s couponing, thrifting, and stopping on the side of the road for free stuff. I now know how amazing it is to not have to pay for things. It’s not lame to save money.
21. Fuck the haters
Throughout your life there are always going to be people that don’t like you. There will always be people that think they’re better than you or think you’re a loser, etc. Honestly fuck them. Never let those people get in the way of your happiness.
I’m sure I have many more lessons to learn along the way, but I’m proud of how far I have come. Hope you enjoyed reading!