College. AKA the best four years of your life. Are beyond fantastic. Unfortunately for my neighbors, I am a very loud, very clumsy, service dog owning, loudly singing, and lack of-a-sleep-schedule wall-mate. It’s all cool between us, don’t get me wrong, we even have a silent language: three knocks after three AM mean we be quiet for five minutes for the other party to fall asleep, we knock on the shower wall if we heard something that sounded like a fall (due to my many falls they have stopped asking if I was okay), and if it is two knocks before midnight it means I am sorry for whatever I just did, what I am about to do, or what I am currently doing. I hope you find enjoyment in my cringe worthy, awkward apology list for my next-door neighbor, hopefully next year you find someone less loud. Here are thirty apologies I have for my wall-mate.
I am sorry to you because:
- I shower very early in the morning.
- I listen to music so loudly in said six a.m. showers.
- Slamming about my room at all hours of the night.
- My service dog barks when someone knocks.
- Screaming at my laptop while doing my Spanish homework.
- I LOVE One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer.
- Blaring said bands at all hours of the night and during the day.
- In fact screaming at anything minorly inconvenient.
- Falling in the shower, causing you to ask if I am okay, at all hours of the night.
- Not having a sleep schedule.
- Burning popcorn at least once a week.
- My friends who make loud sexual noises, all day every day.
- When I cry, I cry loud.
- For listening to One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer.
- For moving my furniture around during finals week in a three a.m. stress study session.
- For having Little Things by One Direction playing at three AM and singing very badly to it.
- For hearing the Soviet Russia national anthem on repeat when my friends play Fall Out.
- For running about the halls at all hours of the night.
- For having my parents repeatedly knocking on your door.
- For leaving my Disney movie menus on all night while I sleep.
- For waking up with at least seven alarms every morning, I know you can hear it, I can hear yours too.
- For having ten pieces of luggage that I slam into my door ten times.
- For the fact that every time you knock on my door, I answer in my robe.
- For the amount of times I have hit my chair against the wall.
- For that one time my best friend flung my door open… and I saw you, while I was naked, on the phone.
- For my dad calling you “dude.”
- The random two a.m. singing sessions to weird songs… like The Fresh Prince of Bellaire theme song.
- For screaming when I have night terrors.
- For throwing my dogs toy (and he runs so loudly).
- For listening to One Direction, again, I am sorry about that. I know most don’t like it.