Top Tips To Irritate Your Fellow Plane Passengers

If you’d like to know how to irritate people when travelling by plane, this is it. Or rather: how to avoid making people want to bang their head against the wall (or passenger seat in front of them). Being an international student I’ve had to fly quite a lot back and forth in the last year. We’ve also recently ended the holiday season so here are some tips to keep in mind for next year on how to have some fun and annoy your fellow passengers. 

1. Rush to the gate as soon as they start boarding and create a massive line. That way you’ll appear super-excited as well as desperate. (I however, prefer to be perceived as chilled and usually lean back, read another couple of pages of my book before I can be bothered to stand up.) 
2. When boarding the plane: stand in the middle of the aisle to store you luggage in the overhead locker. Pretend to be blind (or stupid) and ignore the increasingly growing queue, deadly stares and annoyed sighs. 
3. Fart. It’s the perfect opportunity to fart in public without being caught. There are simply just too many people in one place to point the finger at the guilty one. Top tip: remain very casual during the act, and don’t screw up your face as relief settles in. 
4. Lean your seat back. The space for our legs is already minuscular (trust me, I’m 6ft 1in, I should know), and there is a good chance it will create great annoyance. Those random kicks you’re feeling in your back – ignore them. It’s the person behind you who’s struggling to hold back the urge to lean over and choke you. 
5. Fall asleep on the shoulder of the person seated next to you. Make sure you drool a lot so he or she can look back on that stain and remember you forever. If you’re feeling particularly risky you can start talking in your sleep and attempt to kiss him or her (warning: slap may occur). 
6. When the plane has landed and the seat-belt sign turns off; rush to the aisle as soon as possible to take your luggage down from the overhead locker. Stand and wait patiently for about 15 minutes before they actually open the door. If you want to be really annoying you can stop and talk with the crew before exiting. Compliment them on their service and flying-skills (and maybe chat them up if you’re feeling lucky). Make sure you don’t leave space for the passengers behind you to pass by. 

Good luck. Obs! Tips are to be followed at your own risk.

Picture from SodaHead and Banmiller on Business

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