If your TikTok For You page is anything like mine, every few posts you see something about this au pair escaping her host family in Italy. But what really happened? Let’s break it down with some more context.
On Sunday, April 6, 2025, Ella Katherine (@ellarkatherine) posted a TikTok early in the morning showing her packed suitcases and sharing that she was “sneaking out of my host family’s home in Italy.” The video shows her traveling from the host family’s home to the airport, where she waited for hours for her flight back to the United States. The TikTok has amassed more than 20 million views.
The comments, which have since been turned off, were flooded with questions being concerned about her well-being and safety. As Ella said she was supposed to be in Italy for 3 months and had left after 4 days, leaving early in the morning. Many were concerned that she was in a dangerous situation. Then, just a couple of days later, back in the U.S., Ella posted a 5-part storytime explaining her time as an au pair in Italy and, consequently, why she had to escape.
The Beginning:
21-year-old Ella had signed up to be an au pair online through a non-agency website, “Au-Pair World.” After creating her profile, the “Host Mom,” as Ella calls her, reached out to Ella saying she liked her profile and believed that she would be a good match for her family. Ella explains in her storytime that they had 2 FaceTime calls, where they went over more specific details of Ella’s duties and responsibilities. The Host Mom had said that they needed an au pair to start as soon as possible, so just 2 weeks after getting connected with the Host Mom, Ella was on her way to Italy to be an au pair for this family. It’s important to note that Ella did not have a contract with the host family before becoming an au pair for them, as she states in her storytime. The responsibilities and rules Ella claimed to be aware of on her storytime are as follows:
The Responsibilities & Rules:
- Wake the Host Child up
- Get him changed
- Give him his milk
- Drop him off at school at 8:30am & pick him up from school at 6pm
- Heat up his dinner
- Clean up after dinner
- Friday afternoons and weekends off
Day 0 (Wed. April 2nd): The Arrival in Italy
When Ella arrived in Milan, Italy, she was picked up from the airport by the Host Mom and went back to the family’s home, where they had lunch together. This is where Ella said she noticed the first “red flag” in the situation when the Host Mom had been ranting to Ella about her job. Ella claims she had just arrived and the Host Mom was already dumping her problems onto Ella.
Later, Host Mom sent Ella and the Host Dad to the grocery store so that Ella had food for breakfast & lunches. The issue Ella had with this was the Host Dad didn’t speak any English and Ella doesn’t speak any Italian. They used Google Translate to communicate in the store, which Ella claims was very awkward. Anyway, they returned home to realize the Host Mom had left for work, without training Ella how to care for the Host Child. Following this, the Host Dad and Ella had to go pick up the Host Child from school; when they got home Ella played with the Host Child while the Host Dad made dinner. The Host Dad tried to show Ella how to heat up the Host Child’s food, but because of the language barrier and different appliances it was difficult for Ella to learn. After dinner, the Host Mom showed Ella what evening clean up she needed to do. Ella thought it was fine to go to bed at this point, as she said it was pretty late, but Ella was then told to give the Host Child a bath. During the bath, the Host Mom seemed to be micromanaging Ella and claiming she was not doing it right. Ella noted that the Host Mom said that she liked to bathe the child as it’s their “bonding time” since she’s not home from work as often as she would like.
Day 1 (Thur. April 3rd): The 1st Full Day in Italy
After getting ready, she went to the kitchen to learn her morning tasks, but the Host Dad had already given the Host Child his milk. Like the day before, it was difficult to learn from the Host Dad as he couldn’t speak English and she couldn’t speak Italian. Ella states in her storytime on TikTok that she didn’t understand why the Host Mom, who spoke English, couldn’t just teach her how to do the tasks she needed to perform. By the time they needed to take the Host Child to school, they were running late so the Host Dad took Ella and the child in the car. Ella had a problem with this, since she still didn’t know how to use the public transport to take him and/or walk to the school. When they returned from dropping the Host Child off at school, Ella took a nap because she was still jet lagged from the trip the day before. The Host Mom texted Ella asking where she was, and when Ella woke up she found the Host Mom in the kitchen. The Host Mom tells Ella to walk around Milan, which Ella vlogs and posts on her TikTok. Ella said that in the TikTok she posted of that day, she was very happy and she was happy when she was out of the house, but when she was in the house she felt trapped. The evening then went the same as the day before, with the Host Dad driving to pick up the child and making the child’s milk, not showing Ella what to do. Then Ella had to give the Host Child a bath, which she wasn’t expecting because the Host Mom had explained that Ella would clean up after dinner while the Host Mom bathed the child, since it’s the only time she really gets to spend time with him as she’s at work all day.
Day 2 (Fri. April 4th): The Day Off?
Ella said that this morning went the same as the previous morning, but she stood up for herself and asked to take the public transport so she could learn how to do it. Therefore, the Host Dad and Ella take the Host Child to school using the public transport, which was difficult because, again, there’s a language barrier. Since Ella has the day to herself, she meets up with other au pair friends that she found online and vlogs that day for TikTok as well. Ella asks the Host Mom when she should be back so that they can pick up the Host Child, but the Host Mom said that the Host Dad will pick him up and she doesn’t need to be back to pick him up. When Ella gets back for the evening, the Host Mom is at work. The Host Dad ends up making the Host Child dinner, bathing him and playing with him while Ella relaxes and reads on her kindle in the living room. When the Host Mom returns, she snaps at Ella asking why she’s not playing with the child, bathing him, helping with his dinner, cleaning, and so on. This confused Ella, as she thought that she had the afternoon off and explained it as a miscommunication in her storytime.
Day 3 (Sat. April 5th): The Breaking Point
Ella reiterates in her storytime that Friday afternoon, Saturday, and Sunday were her days off and she decided to spend it with the family. The Host Family brought Ella to Portofino. There were some miscommunications about when they were leaving in the morning, which annoyed Ella, but regardless they left for Portofino. Ella said that during the day the Host Mom and Dad had been leaving the child behind so Ella was mainly caring for him, even though it was her day off. Ella said that she felt like they were ignoring her and leaving her with him. At the end of the day, while Host Mom was putting Host Child in his car seat, they got honked at because they were just sitting in the middle of the street. Once the Host Mom gets in the car she snaps at Ella saying that she hadn’t been paying attention, helping, or learning. At this point, Ella decided she wanted to leave and changed her flight to the next day. However, she didn’t tell the family she was leaving because she didn’t feel safe and she felt trapped.
Day 4 (Sun. April 6th): The Escape
Ella woke up early and snuck out to the airport, which she recorded in the now viral TikTok. We learn from her storytime that she texted the Host Mom when she was at the airport that she was leaving. Ella then flees Italy.
The Aftermath:
After receiving the full explanation of why she escaped her host family in Italy, many were upset with Ella. People made comments that Ella was ‘spoiled,’ ‘entitled’ and ‘just looking for a vacation and didn’t realize it was actually a job.’ Since Ella’s storytime, people have made accounts on Au Pair World and searched specifically for the family. People enthralled with this situation have allegedly found the family Ella was an au pair for and—after seeing the responsibilities the family specifically requested—sparked even more outrage at Ella. Allegedly, these were the responsibilities and schedule the au pair had to follow for this family, per the listing on Au Pair World;
The Responsibilities & Rules:
- Morning (8:30am) – take Host Child to school
- Evening (6pm) – pick child up from school, play at the park, and supervise him until dinner
- Dinner (7-8pm) – assist with his meal [prepared by Host parents]
- Bedtime Routine – help with bath time and getting him ready for bed by 10pm
Schedule & Free Time:
- Monday to Friday – morning drop off & evening care
- Mid day (9:30am – 5:30pm) – free time
- Weekends – usually free, except for occasional 2-3 hours of help (planned in advance)
The Host Family’s profile even stated, “We consider our au pair a part of the family and value collaboration and mutual support. The more involved you are, the more you will be appreciated and rewarded.”
Final Thoughts:
I personally feel like this is a tricky situation to dissect. I feel Ella could have avoided a lot of the trouble she endured by choosing to be an au pair in a country where she already knew the language; or while she was in Italy with the family, trying to pick up some Italian. I feel like the family had a lot of miscommunication and misunderstandings with Ella over what she specifically needed to be doing. It’s also important to note that in her story time, Ella explains that the Host Dad is away for his job from Monday through Thursday, so a lot of the responsibility falls onto the Host Mom, which could explain why she’s so stressed on top of everything that had been already happening with her job. I also had a family friend who had an au pair for their child and while I don’t know a lot of what happened at home; I know that the au pair was from Germany and spoke German and English. This appeared to be a problem for Ella and the family as it isn’t clear if the family wanted an au pair that spoke Italian and it isn’t clear if the family was aware before choosing Ella that she didn’t understand Italian.
Overall, it wasn’t an ideal situation because of a number of factors and Ella posting so much about it on TikTok especially has shown a light on her that makes her susceptible to all the hate and negativity she’s receiving.