There are only a few things that hit harder than a long-term relationship breakup. What’s almost harder than being dumped or cheated on is waking up one day and finally coming to the realization that you are no longer in love with your significant other. This uncertainty of love is something that lingers over every relationship. It’s nothing that you or they did, it’s just simply that once familiar flame has become extinguished completely.
It’s hard to accept and easy to fall into the habit of trying to close our eyes and tell ourselves that the flame is still lit and the fire is still burning. Comfort is easier for humans than the idea of actually having to get out there again. I know when I was thinking about breaking up with my partner of two years, I even looked up “Should I break up with my partner?” (P.S. – if you feel the need to look it up, the answer is probably yes). As much as our mind tries to play tricks on us and convince us everything is okay, here are some serious questions and signs to consider before blowing out that match completely.
They start to become annoying – Your time with them lessens because the things you once found cute or “bearable” have started to drive you crazy, maybe even to the point of biting off a few fingernails.
Avoidance – You feel the need to start avoiding them. The time you all spend together is no longer enjoyable but feels as though it’s a chore. Rooms are filled with awkward silences and blank stares. You begin to start to want time away from them and more time with friends.
3. You start getting crushes – I’m not talking about the ‘oh he’s cute,’ I mean a full-blown crush on someone else. To the point that you think about having a relationship with them and go out of your way to talk to them.
4. The sex is sub-par – Remember when you would have fights under covers and mind-blowing orgasms? Yeah, well if you don’t maybe it’s time to find a new partner (or at least a new position). When a relationship starts to fade so does the sex life, sex is supposed to be exciting and enjoyable, not a chore.
5. You have thought about cheating – This is one of those ones we don’t want to admit, but we have all been there. Where right before things end you think about cheating. If you’re thinking about cheating in general, they clearly aren’t on your mind enough to keep you away from the idea.
Don’t be afraid to pull the plug. Yes, it’s scary and you may have love for them, but you’re no longer in love with them and that’s okay. Enjoyable time spent with anybody is not time wasted!