The One Question You Need to Ask Before You Have Sex

“Cuffing” season is upon us. And with it comes the rise of more sexual relationships. It also comes with the dangers for the increased spreading of sexually transmitted disease. The centers for disease control estimates that of the twenty million new cases of STDs that occur each year, almost half of those are among people aged 15-25.

So with this in mind, it is so important to ask when your partner was last tested before you have sex. Yes, it can be awkward. And yes, to some it may be considered a “mood killer” but both of these are a small price to pay for safer sex.

People under age 25 are the most open to discussing their sex lives, so why does this end in the bedroom? Healthy conversation about your sexual history and testing is essential if we ever want to be the generation to help finally put a stop to the massive spread of STDs.

Trust me, it is easier to ask your partner when they were last tested before you have sex versus having to ask after if you contract something. This honesty and openness is something both parties in the act can benefit from!

No, you aren’t making assumptions of your partner’s sex life and no, you aren’t being too forward in asking. All you are doing is ensuring that you and your partner can have the best and safest sex possible.

Put it this way – you wouldn’t buy a car without asking about its condition and you shouldn’t have sex without a conversation about any potential issues either of you may have.

The awkwardness will last a moment, an STD can stay with you a lifetime. If you are still feeling unsure how to insert this into conversation here are some examples for you to use!

  • When was the last time you were tested?

  • I was tested *insert whenever you were tested here,* what about you?

  • Hey before we do this, what’s your testing history?

I know these seem rather forward and frank but why shouldn’t they be? If you are mature enough to have sex, you should also be mature enough to have this conversation with your partner. And if your partner seems unwilling to discuss this with you or refuses to be tested, this may be a sign for you to reconsider the relationship. No sex is worth putting your own health at stake.

If you yourself haven’t been tested recently, please go do that! There is nothing shameful about it, it is a routine part of adult life like going to the dentist or grocery shopping.

To get tested you can either visit your local Planned Parenthood, community health clinic or your doctor’s office.

Be safe this cuffing season, make sure you don’t end it catching something more long term than you planned for.