Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, but I’ve been told it’s just because I like stuffing my face with good food and listening to gossip. But I don’t like it as much when the conversation switches to me and my life. Sometimes, topics during Thanksgiving dinner can be tricky to deal with, so I thought of some ways to help redirect the awkwardness of the conversation.
REDIRECTING THE CONVERSATION
My first piece of advice is to fill the conversation with topics of yourself or family members. Talk about recent events, classes, trips, outings with friends, experiences, or jobs. You can also talk about what you’ve been watching, reading, filling your time with; your favorite hobbies, movies or TV shows, books, activities, classes, projects, and activities you’ve done. Just fill the conversation with what you’ve been doing with your life. Likewise, you can apply this tactic to other family members, friends, or relatives; just fill the conversation with the lives of others.
Along the same lines of filling conversation is talking about specific things that have occurred. A relative’s engagement/birth/marriage/etc., bring up memories with relatives present, or mention some pop culture (non-controversial) news.
HANDLING HYPOTHETICALS & FUTURE EVENTS
If the conversation moves to a future event, like “What are you going to do after you graduate?” or “When are you and your significant other going to settle down?” my advice would be to keep things in the present. At least for me, talking about the future is daunting because I don’t know what will happen, so making sure the conversation stays in the current time frame is key. A response I’d use for these kinds of topics would be something similar to “right now I’m just focused on things now (school/work/etc.),” and reiterating that being in the present is important to you so as not to overwhelm you.
CRITIQUES
There’s always one moment when something comes under criticism. Someone commenting on how much or little you’re eating, how you look a little bigger or smaller from the last time they saw you, or how your mannerisms have changed. My first piece of advice would be to ignore it if you can. You can always set a boundary and tell the person you’d rather keep the conversation away from that aspect of yourself. Rather, you can always say that you’ve grown and changed, which has impacted many aspects of you, including the things they’ve commented on. If it fits, make sure to add that boundary, explaining that you’d rather keep the conversation away from that aspect of yourself, after a statement like that and reiterate that you appreciate their concern but that you’d rather not discuss that topic. Follow it up by bringing up a new topic of conversation. Another option is to simply redirect the conversation from the jump and avoid it altogether. However, the issue with this approach is sometimes certain people can be persistent and want you to address what they say, so using one of the options stated might be a good way to handle that kind of interaction.
Overall, there are always bound to be some kind of awkward moments during thanksgiving, and hearing snarky and snide comments is almost a tradition for most. Just remember to prioritize yourself in these situations. Also, don’t forget that it’s just a few hours of one day, don’t let awkward conversations damage your confidence or ruin relationships with your family.