Green tea frappuccino
You were the last of your friends to find out the truth about Santa.
Venti Iced Green Tea
You can list all the health benefits of green tea. You’ve done it before, and you’ll do it again.
You’re really just there for the fast WiFi.
You had an awkward encounter at the pick-up counter because three other people ordered your drink.
Iced Soy Latte
You’re not actually lactose-intolerant.
Iced Soy Vanilla Latte
Do you even like the taste of coffee?
White Peppermint Mocha
You actually don’t like coffee, but always say you need it.
Ethos Water Bottle
You either don’t know that Starbucks gives out free iced water or you like that feel-good feeling you get buying a philanthropic bottle of water.
Venti Iced Water
You have a stockpile of Starbucks napkins at home.
Pumpkin Spiced Latte
Don’t those UGGs make your feet sweat?
You came alone, unless you count the book on Marxist theory in your satchel.
Nonfat, Sugar-Free Caramel Macchiato
“Does that come with foam?… Okay, no foam.”
Medium Hot Coffee
You don’t know what “grande” means, but no other Emily is getting up for their drink.
You only order it for its name.
Wine coolers are your favorite alcoholic beverage.