1. Why don’t these come with mini windshield wipers? Seriously, whoever thinks that wearing glasses on a rainy day is a good idea, certainly does not actually wear glasses.
2. How am I supposed to unload the dishwasher if my glasses are fogged up? Or take my food out of the oven?
3. How do I sneeze gracefully? There has to be a way to sneeze without your glasses flying off you and hair falling into your face.
4. Do I take my glasses off during sex or keep them on…? If I take them off, I can’t see sh*t. If I leave them on they can fly off as we’re…uh-hem. But if I leave them on I can also see how ridiculous I look, so JK, no glasses is the way to go!
5. How am I supposed to swim in these? Life is a game of Marco Polo and I am perpetually Marco.
6. Why do they keep sliding off my nose? I wish I could just glue them to my face so they would just stay put.
7. When did glasses even become cool? I dreaded wearing them in fourth grade, and now people with 20/20 vision want them, too.
8. Do I look good in these? Like, I want to pull off the sexy librarian look, but I feel like I really just look like Steve Urkel.
9. Why do these cost so much?! They’re helping my eyes but they’re demolishing my wallet.
10. How long do I have to wait before my mascara dries so I can put my glasses back on? Because I’m running late, and I can’t drive…or walk or run…without being able to see.
11. How are these still more comfortable than contacts? They’re so annoying, but they are the #1 thing I look forward to at the end of the day.