An Open Letter to my Not so “Future Husband”
Dear future self,
It’s okay to not be married, it’s okay to not want to be a wife. Living life as a single, strong independent woman with a strong carrier is okay. In fact, it’s fantastic. I’ve never aspired to be a wife or to set my main priority as having a family. Shocking, I know. In fact, I’ve, from a young age, devoted my future to being a successful woman in the working environment. I want to be a woman with a voice, passionate about changing our world for the better, not to sit in a kitchen and pick my son up from soccer practice in my Honda Odyssey (no offense to any women who live this life, it’s just not one for me). Many women dream of their perfect man and search high and low, day and night for this magical being to appear out of thin air and whisk them into the sunset living happily ever after. Bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. Life does not work this way, so why do women kill themselves trying to find this? Future self, if you’re still single then I’ll still be happy. I don’t want to derive my happiness and pleasure from another being, especially not from a man. Don’t get me wrong, I love men –– in fact, most of my friends are boys. Men are especially complicated and beautiful creatures who give our lives spark and adventure. Men make life fun, but they aren’t the priority in my life, I know, another shocker. Many girls view their priority in finding a husband and having a family, whether or not they admit that or not. It’s human nature and culture to think and feel this way. Our society since the beginning of time has reaffirmed the theory that men are the center of the universe and us as women are supposed to cater to their needs. Think I’m wrong? It’s called mankind, isn’t it? You’re probably reading this and thinking: Oh geez, was I that much of a crazy stereotypical feminist? Well, number one, I am a strong feminist. Number two, no I’m not a crazy, man hating girl. And number three, being a feminist should not invoke negative stereotypes. So future self, is feminism still seen as this? Hopefully it’s changed but until then I’m not going to sit here waiting for my prince to sweep me off my feet. I’m going to focus on myself, who I want to be and how I get there. I’m assuming I did a good job of this (trying to stay optimistic). But in reality I hope I didn’t waste my youth dreaming up someone who I haven’t even met yet. I don’t want a large wedding with thousands of dollars poured into it. I don’t even want a relationship now. I mean how am I supposed to think about marriage if I can’t figure out what I’m going to eat for dinner? Just because I feel this way doesn’t mean I have “commitment issues,” I just have more important aspects in my life than marriage.
Sincerely,
The happily single,
Cynthia