Concert ticket: $50.00
Shuttle pass to Hollywood Bowl: $5.00
Butt pad rental: $1.00
Listening to wasted white girls ask their friends, “Who sings this!?”: Priceless
One of our favorite (and most sassy) country studs made an appearance in Hollywood last Saturday night, and boy did he bring the heat. Blake Shelton put on an incredible show for a Hollywood Bowl full of in-the-closet rednecks (me), tan-legged Juliets, beer-bellied L.A. millionaires, and everyone in between. The concert kicked off with an edgy performance by Dan + Shay and a rather theatrical gig by The Band Perry, both of whom did an excellent job of building the anticipation. It wasn’t until Blake Shelton hit the stage that the party really got going.
Catchy Phase – He starts off with an up beat string of songs, all of which are current and instantly familiar. Everyone is getting into it: singing along too loudly, swinging hips to the beat, and sipping on overpriced beverages.
Throwback Phase – All of a sudden, the high-waister-and-cowboy-boot-wearing girls that thought they knew every Blake Shelton song ever written go into shock. Blake plays at least five hits from early on in his career. The older generation is stoked, but some of the younger hip-swingers sit down or go to concessions for another round of booze.
Sentimental Phase – Though we know Blake to have a solid sarcasm game, he has a soft side too (you go, Miranda). After getting the crowd pumped up with jams of all ages, he hits the brakes and slows things down with two acoustic songs that are sure to bring on the waterworks.
Rally Phase – But fear not, he wouldn’t leave us like that! Blake gets the crowd back on their feet with a few more favorites that everyone (with the exception of those who were at the concert strictly to please their girlfriends) recognizes.
Big Finish/Encore Phase – People are starting to hit a wall: it’s getting late, definitely too late to go back for another round of beer, and no one has more than 10% battery on their iPhones. With perfect timing, Blake sums up the night with a rockin’ encore and heartfelt goodbye to his fans.
And, just like any killer concert, we all trudge back to our cars wishing that it wasn’t over, complaining about how far the walk is and how much our feet hurt from those cute cowboy boots.