If I have learned anything about dating the stereotypical “nice guy” for two whole years, it would be that it is not what you expect. In my head, when I think of dating a “nice guy,” I thought I would never get hurt. But that’s really not the case.
I think most girls (including me) mistake wanting to date a “nice guy” for dating a guy who is just really nice to her and normal to everyone else.
For example, let’s say (not naming names, but…) you’ve been with said “nice guy” for almost two years. He’s very serious about you (or so he says) and then you meet his rude family member who loves to do what he/she does best: being rude, and he/she says to you that “women shouldn’t have equal pay to men.” Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m not the type to sit back and do nothing, so I say something, and the fight goes on and on.
What would you expect your “nice guy” to do? I expected mine to defend me, but he stayed quiet.
See, what I learned from this is that a “nice guy” isn’t just one that is nice to you, but nice to everyone, even when they don’t deserve it. I would say this was my nice guy’s biggest flaw.
They just want everyone to like them and for there to be no conflict involved. Of course the “nice guy” will get very upset and act like he feels so bad for you. He’ll say that said cousin is so rude, but if there is no action. There are no real feelings, in my opinion.
I am not saying he didn’t care for two years; I am saying that this guy was too chicken and scared of conflict to do anything. That is what led him to now be single.
I am also not saying that he is a terrible human being. Yes, he was really nice to me even when I wouldn’t deserve it. But where it counts, he was lacking.
Yes, we all need a guy who cares for us when we are sick and thinks of sweet and romantic things to say, but when push comes to shove, a girl needs someone by her side that will stand up for her in any situation that she needs.
Sometimes with the nice guy, I felt very alone, and that wasn’t what I was expecting at all. I fought all my battles alone (trust me, there were many), yet I seemed to defend him when my friends or family would say anything.
The feeling of mutual benefits in a relationship with a “nice guy” doesn’t quite exist, or at least in my case. I was always the one who did all the dirty work, and he walked away with no dirt on his hands.
This, I’m not going to lie, hurt a lot, something I didn’t think a “nice guy” would ever do. Take this as a warning: You don’t want the “nice guy.” You want a normal guy who is just nice and caring to you.
I am no Carrie Bradshaw, and this isn’t “Sex and the City,” but I’ll try my best to vent out my feelings for said “nice guy” in a series of articles this semester about my adventures dealing with “the nice guy.”