Name: Ari Berman
Age: Almost 21, but yes, I’m a Senior
Height: 4’11”
Affiliations: Alpha Phi
Major: Strategic and Corporate Communications
Hometown: San Francisco
Relationship Status: Single
Favorite Book: East of Eden
Who is your celebrity crush?
Andy Sandberg. He is Jewish and nerdy and funny. And he’s my soulmate.
What do you do in your free time?
I take a lot of naps with my stuffed animal sloth named Slothy.
Who is your role model and why?
Michael Scott from The Office. My favorite quote by him is, “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
What do you think the most obnoxious Instagram caption is?
It’s a tie between, “Life’s a beach and I’m just playing in the sand” and “Every brunette needs a blonde best friend.”
What is your favorite holiday?
It’s a tie between my Birthday Month and Undie Run. Let me explain Birthday Month. Birthday month begins October 24th because my birthday is November 24th. Birthday Month is actually Birthday 2-Months because it ends on December 24th.
What is your funniest memory from Chapman?
At the beginning of freshman year I was hooking up with a guy who lived in my dorm. About 3 weeks later he officially started dating a girl and texted me one night telling me he had a really serious question for me. His really serious question for me was, “Are you willing to be my ‘thing on the side?’”
What are the qualities of your ideal man?
Nerdy, really smart, ambitious, knows how to make good puns, Jewish, is obsessed with me, doesn’t mind being big spoon (always), and never rests his arm on my head like an armrest.
What are some relationship deal breakers?
Texting me after midnight to hang out, FACIAL HAIR, and eating bananas in my presence.
What is your ideal date?
Picking me up with flowers, opening the car door, don’t tell me exactly where we are going, but tell me I’m going to love it. The whole car ride, you must play Album Four by One Direction, or old school Eminem. We arrive at the Wildlife Learning Center in Sylmar, California, and I already know what the plan is: we’re going to go play with Lola the sloth. The guides lead us to Lola, and you bring your professional camera because you are a professional photographer and you take thousands of pictures of me with Lola. You then instagram one of the pictures of me and Lola on Woman Crush Wednesday. That is my ideal date.