If you want a boy to like you, look no further.
1. Grow your leg hair out until it is long enough to make a sweater for him.
The sweet, sweaty smell will remind him of you all day, and he won’t be able to get you off his mind (or chest!!).
2. Find out his schedule.
When does he have class? Work? Sleep? Eat? Go to the bathroom? Drink water? Wake up? Go to sleep? Make a very detailed schedule regarding his every move so that you can know where he is at all times of the day, every day. Do your best to show up when he least expects, especially at places that he doesn’t know you know.
3. Bring out your artsy side.
Take as many pictures of him as possible when he isn’t paying attention. Print out every picture you can find of him, and put them in your room, covering every single wall, window, door, and roof. Invite your crush over. He will be so taken with your dedication that he can’t help but fall in love with you.
4. Talk to his parents, and see if you can track down the teeth the Tooth Fairy “took” from him.
If you can find two similar teeth of his, have them set in matching rings or necklaces. It’s like friendship bracelets but deeper, and *filled* with love.
5. The next time you hang out with him, steal his house or apartment key.
Make a copy and return it before he notices. This way, you can show up at his house uninvited and wait for him. He’ll be so surprised by your thoughtfulness that he can’t help but fall for you.
6. Once you figure out his birthday, start recording his horoscopes as well as yours, making sure to analyze and compare them.
At the end of each week, present your analysis to him with your reasonings. He’ll be so impressed by the depth of your feelings that he will want to share more with you.
7. Texting him?
When you’ve got his schedule all worked out, make sure to double or triple text him every minute until he responds. He’ll be so impressed by how much you want to talk to him that he is sure to start responding instantaneously.
8. Tag along the next time he gets a haircut.
Volunteer to pick up all the hair yourself, and keep it in bags. Add this to the scrapbook that you’ve made for him, then share it with him on a special anniversary. Bonus points if he doesn’t know you got his hair.
9. Make a voodoo-style doll of him.
Worship it at all times, and use it in rituals. These rain dance rituals will bring you so, so, so much closer.
I’m absolutely positive that if you follow these rules, boys all over the world will fall for you. Prepare yourself.