1. Vents have become the windows into the souls of your whole floor.
2. People bribing you to become extras in their Visual Storytelling films will be like…
3. And when you have to politely decline, you just hope they take it okay.
4. Whenever you walk into your room and take a whiff, you and your roomie give each other that all-knowing look.
5. Everyone is pulling a Hannah Montana; they’re your normal next-door neighbor, but have secret super cool popstar lifestyles. Oh, Dodge kids.
6. So when you see that they landed an internship at some french film festival and are Facebook friends with Dylan O’Brien you’re all like…
7. Whenever you walk into the quad…
8. Everyone dresses like they’re at a concert for The 1975.
9. Showering requires the flexibility of a level 9 gymnast. Shaving, an olympic gold medalist.
10. But when you see your friends’ bathrooms in neighboring dorms, the rage and whining begin.
11. You begin to think that sadist fascist dictators control the AC units.
12. Laundry days involve strategic planning and aggressive advances. Excuse me, one of the two washers is actually available?
13. Getting a parking spot is like trying to get into a frat party if you’re a dude. It probably won’t happen and you’ll have to do the drive of shame to the Jim Miller Parking Structure.
14. Your reaction to seeing the resident director’s dog is the same as if Harry Styles were to stroll into NoMo’s grassy lawn.
15. You actually read what’s on the walls.
Because when you were lonely on V-Day, you atleast got to learn the good news about Nicholas Cage.
16. You are forever resentful that you have not seen ONE bunny the whole school year.
17. Lastly, and most importantly, you made the best of friends among the halls of No-Mo’s charming prison cubes.
Cover photo courtesy of The Panther