10 Thoughts You Have 10 Minutes Before Your 11:59 Deadline

11:50 p.m.

I need a planner. I need to be more time efficient. I’m going to start my next essay a week before it’s due. Procrastination will never victimize me again.


11:51 p.m.

Nine minutes is a long time. I have four paragraphs left, so if I take 2.5 minutes for each paragraph, I should be okay. Nine minutes: more than enough.


11:52 p.m.

Okay, scratch the four paragraphs. No one actually needs four paragraphs in an essay. A two paragraph essay is perfectly acceptable. I’ll just write two amazing paragraphs.


11:53 p.m.

This is amazing. This is the best thing I’ve ever written. Now, all I have to do is re-read it for errors, and we’re all finished -- wait. Oh, my god. This is terrible.


11:54 p.m.

Maybe I should email my teacher and explain the situation. She’s understanding; she would give me an extension. I mean, I did use an extension last time, but if I ask really nicely, then maybe? This is going to be okay.


11:55 p.m.

Why am I like this? Why do I do this to myself?

11:56 p.m.

Four minutes left. Or, wait, is it three minutes? 11:59 minus 11:56 is 3 minutes right? But what about the 59th minute? Or do those seconds not count?


11:57 p.m.

I’ll just drop out. It’s probably fine.

11:58 p.m.

If I don’t do this essay after all, but I get a solid A on my next paper and the next four exams, I can still manage to pull off a 90.001 in this class. That’s manageable - right?


11:59 p.m.

I finished. I really finished. I’m the master of everything. Everything is right in the world. And oh, wait, that other essay? I’ll just start it next week. It’ll be fine.