In the spirit of the GOP’s frontrunner, here’s a list of a few random things that could probably run a country better than the billionaire businessman himself, Donald J. Trump.
1. Salmon
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Salmon is packed with nutrients that improve brain function, something that Trump could use some more of.
2. 2007 Britney Spears
She is certainly in a more stable mindset than the Republican frontrunner.
3. A Floppy Disk
I’m guessing floppy disk has more use in a presidential race than Donald Trump.
4. A Bra
A bra is far more supportive of women than Trump is.
5. Your Favorite Pair of Lulu’s
Loyal, dependable, practically perfect in every way. Three characteristics that Donald Trump has yet to master.
6. A Dog
Let’s get real here. Dogs are the purest form of happiness. Fido would win by a landslide.
7. Google
It solves all of our problems.
8. Aaron Tveit
*Sigh.* If only it were a “Best Hair” contest… Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh. Right. Politics. *Ahem.*
9. A Condom
The slogans are just too easy: “The ultimate package.” “An undeniably reliable form of protection.” “Great for any position.” The possibilities are endless.
10. An Avocado
The votes are in.
2020 can’t come soon enough…